Sexiled in the City

After a long weekday of school work or a full night of going out, nothing is more inviting than my dorm room and big comfy bed.  I can almost feel the warm covers over me as I walk back to my dorm, eyelids already falling down.  And then the inevitable text comes, “Hey, ‘HE’ is in the room, is it okay if you don’t come back for a while?”  Mission aborted!
 
Before college, “sexiled” was a term that I can honestly say was never a part of my vocabulary.  But now, I can say it takes an active role in my (almost) everyday life.  Back in the day, it used to be the ol’ sock on the door trick, but now it’s the warning text that let’s roommates know their room is currently off-limits.  The way the message is relayed may have changed over time, but the question for the person in exile remains the same: “What now?”  How am I going to extend my “Night on the Heights”?

At first I was angry.  On school nights, it may be after everyone is already asleep.  On the weekends it’s after I’ve already trudged back up to my “lovely” abode on CoRo.  But seeing that my dorm is a shared living space, I try to be more understanding and make the most of my situation, which is how I came up with my outlook on situation: “Sex(iled) in the City.”
 
Sure, it doesn’t sound as glamorous as the high-fashion, opulent, and fast-paced lives of Carrie Bradshaw and her closest gal pals but over the past year I have been able to make being sexiled not only bearable but entertaining.  Just like the girls of “Sex and the City,” one of my guilty pleasures, I’ve met some interesting people, learned new things about my city (more like campus), and myself.
 
Just like I did to myself, I challenge you to turn that anger of being homeless for a while into a chance to have some fun or at least make the most of your time.  Here are “Sexiled in the City” activities done by yours truly:
 
Go to the library
Okay this may not sound so glamorous, but even Carrie Bradshaw had to set some time aside for herself to take on her journalist responsibilities.  At the libraries I’ve found myself super productive and able to get a lot of work done.  I have also been able to find the best spots for me to study and late at night, it’s nice to look out the 5^th floor window of O’Neil’ and see the skyline of Boston lit up.  I also always seem to run into someone I know, but may not have seen for awhile, whenever I go to the library at night.
 
Make friends with the dining hall staff
How many times have you gotten Late Night and seen the despondent faces of the dining hall staff as they swipe your ID and see you escape to freedom?  Next time, try talking to them, ask how their night is going.  I’ve gotten some interesting stories out of them about Late Night drama that goes on as people satiate their munchies.  Go late enough and you might even score a free cookie out of it.

Have slumber parties with other girlfriends
Some nights I’ve just given up that I will get into my room and wound up crashing in my friends’ dorms.  I have to say THANKS to those friends.  Nothing is better than pillow talk with my closest friends.  We have had movie nights, made some late night snacks, and gossiped with both laughs and tears.  I am never too old for a sleepover with my friends, and at least I know I can actually go to sleep at some point that night.
 
Catch up on my shows or movies that I always wanted to see
Between school work, meetings, and just basically life, it seems like I am never able to watch the shows and movies that I want to see.  Therefore, Hulu and Netflix streaming have become my new best friends!  Honestly I can knock out two episodes of Gossip Girl on an average night of being sexiled.  True story: one time, watching Billy Madison on my laptop (for the 100^th time) in the lounge, I had a cute guy from the first floor ask to watch with me.  You never know who you may meet.
 
Skype with friends and family
How many of you are guilty of telling friends from home or family that “You miss them and really want to catch up,” but never following through on it?!  Guilty as charged.  But not anymore; I’ve been able to Skype with my friends at schools all over the country.  Honestly, they sometimes know my history so well, that they always have the best advice.  They are most likely staying up late, studying, or doing work, and it’s always nice to have some discussion with an old friend as distraction.
 
Meditate before bed
Okay I was never usually one for mediation but honestly, I was also not one to get a good night sleep.  But mediation, as studies suggest, is sleep’s best kept secret.  Meditating before bed really allows me to find closure on the day, eliminating my inclination to lie awake and think about tomorrow or about what I encountered that day (stress!).  I find somewhere quiet (and trust me, there are plenty of options on campus this time at night) to give myself time to sort through everything in a calm, peaceful, and direct way.  I realize when I do this that I focus on what I really need to be focusing on in my life and once I am allowed back into my room, fall into a more peaceful sleep.

Become a Pinterest Pro
I don’t know about you, but Pinterest has become my new addiction.  I feel so social savvy creating boards on fashion, food, places, quotes, and images that relate to and inspire me.  When I do my work, I always feel guilty sneaking to these sites and pretty much procrastinating.  But when I’ve got time to kill, I’ve been able to find some great hair and beauty tips, recipes that I want to try, and outfits that I want to put together.  I am becoming a more well-rounded woman.
 
Take a walk
Disclaimer: if it is late at night, cold out, or you don’t feel comfortable, then I suggest that you DO NOT do this alone.  But when I first had to adjust to being kicked out of the room, I was somewhat angry and needed to blow off some steam so I would take a walk. Also I’m sure some of your roommates engage in afternoon delight, and as the weather gets better, it’s nice to get some fresh air and take a walk.  If walking isn’t your thing, the Plex is open pretty late so you can burn some built-up energy that way.
 
Go back out
If the night is still young, remember that so are you!  On the weekend, if I leave a party earlier than most to head back to the room, if my energy allows, on some nights I head back down and live it up a little longer.  Sure the friends I may have initially went with may have left or be nowhere in sight, but it never hurts to make new friends and have a good time!
 
Some mention “sexile revenge” so that one day when you’re on the opposite side of the door, your roommate will finally know how it feels.  If you feel that there’s a lack of communication or respect between you and your roommate, and you feel vengeful, then it’s suggested that you guys address the issue.  Maybe set up a schedule, or let each other know how you want to be asked so that conflicts don’t arise.  Remember you do SHARE the room and drama is just NOT fun!
 
I’m lucky enough to room with my best friend and we seem to have the best type of communication and understand each other at times when we don’t even have to say anything.  I, therefore, don’t look at being sexiled in the same vengeful way that others may.  Instead, I just think that my time is to come to be the sexil-er, but at least I know how to make the most of my time until my “Mr.Big” comes along.

 
Photo Sources:
http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/comix_b_sexiled.gif
http://www.bc.edu/offices/dining/
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/yoga/bedtime-yoga
http://giovannapg.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/sex_and_the_city_2.jpg