The Sex Files #14: 25 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life

We here at BCSSH tend to talk a lot about how to make sex safe.  While informed decisions regarding sex are extremely important, we also think that sex should be fun.  So, whether you want to switch things up with a long-term partner or are just adventurous by nature, here are our top 25 ways to spice up your sex life tonight.

  1. Get out of bed.  A change of scenery is one of the simplest ways to keep a sense of novelty in your sex life.  These students definitely found some creative places on campus.  Public indecency aside, some popular favorites include on a couch, desk, armless chair, or testing your balance against a wall.  But be mindful of roommates, please!
  2. Make eye contact.  Focus on making eye contact with your partner in (or out of) bed.  While you don’t want to have a staring contest, making eye contact when you feel particularly confident will instantly transfer that energy to your partner.

  3. Get a new point of view.  Do the deed in front of a mirror.  Watching yourselves in action is a surefire turn-on, without risking a sex tape being posted online.
  4. Keep your clothes on.  Try only removing key pieces of clothing. Unzip his fly instead of removing his pants, or push your underwear to the side instead of removing it.  It may seem silly to think about, but that kind of need-you-now urgency can make your session seriously hot.

  5. Play show and tell. This one requires a little restraint from your partner.  Under his/her watchful eye, use your own hand to show them where you like to be touched and how.  Then have him/her try, being sure to communicate what feels good.
  6. Try blind oral. Blindfold your partner before performing oral sex, using an actual blindfold or a discarded piece of clothing.  Inhibiting his/her sight will make all the other senses hyper-alert, and not knowing what you will do next will heighten anticipation.

  7. Saved by the bell.  Set a timer for 30 minutes and don’t touch one another anywhere that would be covered by a bathing suit until the timer goes off.  Though that may seem like a long time, letting the anticipation build will only improve your experience.
  8. Look, no hands!  Don’t touch your partner with your hands for the entirety of a session.  Instead, explore each other’s bodies with your lips, skin, and breath.

  9. Play sexy trivia.  If you have a significant history with your partner, take turns asking one another questions about your time together.  Try “Where was our first date?” or “When was our first kiss?”  If he/she answers correctly, you have to remove an article of clothing.  If you stump him/her, their clothes come off.
  10. Give sex dice a roll.  We’ve all seen those dice that tell you “[action] a [body part].”  Try making your own.  Together, list your 6 favorite sex acts for one die, and decide who gives and who receives on odds and evens for the other.  Take turn rolling the dice and enjoying your favorite moves.

  11. Find your alter ego.  If you’re usually quiet and submissive in bed, try taking charge.  If you tend to wear soft pastels, try wearing black lace and sky-high heels.  Discovering new sides of the person you’ve gotten to know in bed never gets old.
  12. Experiment with your grooming.  See our Guide to Down Under for ideas and tips.  Changing the appearance of your pubic area not only adds new visual appeal, but can create different sensations as well.

  13. Make a sex playlist.  Include different genres, tempos, and rhythms.  Try to match your pace and rhythm with that of each new song.
  14. Send a sexy message.  Send suggestive messages to each other throughout the day.  Be as vague or explicit as you want.  Keeping your thoughts in the gutter all day will definitely pay off at night.

  15. Or a sexy massage.  Massages can be both relaxing and sexy.  Get soothing-scented massage oil and take turns massaging one another.  If you are using condoms (which we hope you are!) make sure the oil is marked as condom-safe.

     

  16. Try a new position every time.  Many couples get into certain habits in the bedroom because they know what makes their partner happy.  While this definitely has it perks, trying new things is a great way to find new things that you might like.  Not feeling creative?  Scroll through here before your partner comes over so you have some great ideas ahead of time.

  17. Don’t have morning sex.  Well, don’t have morning sex right away.  If you and your partner usually kick off your mornings with a bang (pun definitely intended), try to hold off a bit longer.  Try surprising your partner once he/she gets out of the shower instead to keep the morning just as interesting as the night before.
  18. Role-play.  Ever had a crush on your teacher?  Well, now you can act on it – legally!  Role-playing is a safe, fun way for you and your partner to act out your wildest fantasies.  Give “reverse cowgirl” a whole new meaning and dress up rodeo-style.  The sky is the limit.  As long as both you and your partner are comfortable, role-playing can provide hours of entertainment.

  19. Break out the handcuffs.  If you’re ready to try something new, why not consider bondage?  Tying your partner to the bed can allow your inner dominatrix to break out and surprise both of you with a great time; conversely, you might find that you enjoy being almost completely at your partner’s mercy.  (Remember to agree on a safeword: a word that, once said, immediately stops the proceedings.)  Bondage can also tie in – no pun intended – quite nicely with #18.
  20. Buy a present for two.  Not sure what to get your partner for a birthday/anniversary/Valentines Day? Let him/her choose his/her own gift.  Open the Victoria’s Secret website (or any other website of your choice) on his/her computer, and tell your partner to bookmark their three favorite items.  Pick your favorite of the three to wear for the special occasion.  We guarantee your partner will spend all day thinking about which present he/she will get to “unwrap” that night.

  21. Good enough to eat.  Play a little game with chocolate, whipped cream, honey, or any other of your favorite flavors.  Your job: place the sweets of your choice on the spots you want your partner to pay some extra attention.  Your partner’s job:  find your “sweet spots.”  Eyes closed.
  22. Try silent sex.  Maybe you’ve already mastered this one because of your building’s paper-thin walls.   Maybe not.  Either way, challenging yourself and your partner to silent sex can be even more exciting than the full-volume version. Without the usual noises, you’ll have to pay attention to your partner’s other physical cues, and that close attention could be really hot.

  23. Have a movie night!  A dirty movie night, that is.  Watching an explicit film can get you both in the mood and give you some great new ideas to try on your own!
  24. Home movie night!  Dim the lights and make your own XXX rated movie.  Even if you don’t press record, setting up a camera can increase one’s willingness or curiosity to try something out of the ordinary.  See the previous tips if you’re stumped on what to experiment with.

  25. Attend Sex Toy Bingo.  Come alone and win a prize for yourself or bring your partner.  We’re even selling couples’ tickets (2 for $5)!

We know that reading this blog has made you eager to get to work, but please make sure you have the consent of your partner before trying anything new.  One way is to “accidentally” leave this blog open on their computer. When he/she asks you about it later, respond casually, “Oh those were just some new things I was thinking we could try.”  Once they get over the shock of how amazing you are, get ready to play!

Peace, Love, and Lube,
BC Students for Sexual Health

Photo Sources:
http://cassandracurtis.blogspot.com/2011/04/loving-massage.html
http://rayhigdon.com/what-numis-network-reps-dont-want-you-to-ask/
http://lalaorangestyle.blogspot.com/2009_11_01_archive.html