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Open Letter to My Ex-Boyfriend

It’s almost been a whole year: a year since you’ve held me, smiled at me, and made me smile.  All this time has passed, and yet I still feel the need to say this. I know you’ve moved on; I saw your recent “in a relationship” post on Facebook and my heart stopped for about half a second.  But once the shock had faded, and the nostalgia and sadness had settled down within me, I started thinking about my life and everything I’ve accomplished since we split up.  So read carefully, darling.  This one’s for you.

You were once my entire world.  I loved you as wholeheartedly as a nineteen-year-old girl could have.  Yeah, maybe I did try too hard at times, but by the same token, you didn’t try hard enough… not nearly enough.  A girl should never have to fight for her guy’s attention, and yet you had me fighting bloody battles everyday.  And ironically enough, I was happy to do it. I thought that if I could spark some emotion in you, it would prove that you loved me too, and that I meant more to you than you ever dared to show.  Now it really wasn’t all that bad. In fact, you were great; WE were great.  I truly do think that we had something real and special, and I’m thankful for the months we had together for they were some of my happiest.

So now, what am I doing writing you this letter when we broke up a fairly long time ago?  I just wanted to say thank you.  Getting over you was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, and now that we’re both in good places in our lives I can assure you with all my heart and soul that I’ve overcome all my heartache.  Our relationship taught me so many things, and I’m so grateful for everything I learned about myself.  I figured out that I should remember to love myself and to not blame myself so much when things don’t work out.  Relationships have two sides, and it takes both sides’ efforts to work.  You taught me to forgive and forget, and to always tough things out with a smile.  I learned that I am well worth someone’s time and attention, and only a person who is willing to give that to me deserves to have me.  In a way, I’m glad I had my heart broken, because I learned that it isn’t the end of the world: you will eventually bounce back to your radiant self and realize that you are worth more.  And you WILL find happiness.

And so for all this, I want to say thank you.  I honestly mean it when I say that I hope you’re happy, because I know I am.  Deuces, kid. 

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