April 16th, 2013 was going to be the best day ever. It would be my 21st birthday. It would be THE best 21st birthday. Even though I was a bit bummed that it was the day after Marathon Monday (i.e. no Mod partying for me), I was okay with that because my roommates and I decided to stay close to our apartment and watch the Marathon from Cleveland Circle. We would start the day with mimosas; it would be like a pre-game darty for my birthday. So great, right? And like everyone’s 21st, mine was a long time coming. That year I had become close with my Relay For Life co-chair who was the self-proclaimed Queen of MaryAnn’s. She was always at MAs and I always couldn’t be. I would finally get to join her and my other legal friends at what is debatably the heart of BC, and THAT is what was going to make my 21st so amazing! I was ready! I was waiting! And then, as I am sure you have figured out, none of that happened.
At 2:49PM on April 15, 2013, two pressure cooker bombs exploded at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. Just as the bombs went off, so did my plans for a great 21st. Reflecting on this a year later, I can pick out three important, yet cliché, lessons that this experience has taught me.
Lesson 1: Life changes fast.
As I said, I had perfectly laid plans for a great birthday. The day started as I had wanted: mimosas in the new bedazzled wine glass my birthday twin/friend from high school made me for the occasion and #6s from the Deli. My roommates and I had an absolute blast cheering on the runners in the warm weather. I loved getting to see one of my Relay committee members and one of my future roommates run past. I loved when all my roommates screamed my name and I looked up to see another Shannon, a woman none of us knew, smiling so wide because we picked her to cheer on. The laughs, the yelling, the anticipation of a great 21st were all so exciting. MaryAnn’s was just across the street, waiting to welcome me in the next night- apparent by the picture below.
But, even though I had the best laid plans, it all changed so fast. As we were getting a little bit tired that afternoon, our honorary roommate interrupted and said, “Guys, my mom just texted me that there were explosions at the finish line.” I didn’t really know what to think, so I Googled it. The results all said the same thing: “Explosions at the Boston Marathon finish line.” Nothing else. We decided to head back and turn on the television, where we watched in silence for hours as what seemed like no developments came in.
I remember talking to my mom, my voice shaking from nerves. At that point we didn’t know much about what had happened, but the one thing I did know was that my perfect 21st probably would not be as perfect as I had planned. And there’s Lesson 1: Life changes fast. I was having an amazing Marathon Monday and I was going to have an even better 21st, but in less than a second as those bombs went off, it all changed.
Lesson 2: Life moves on.
And how did my big day go, you wonder? The simplest way to put it is that my 21st birthday past without the blink of an eye from almost everyone I knew. My first class had been cancelled, so I didn’t take the bus in with my roommates. I walked to Starbucks in an absolutely silent city. I ordered my free birthday drink and answered the question of, “What size?” with, “The largest.” I talked to my older sister on the phone at the bus stop. We hemmed and hawed over whether it would be appropriate for me to celebrate that night. She said yes, but I still wasn’t sure. I sat through my most hated BC class ever, hating it even more. My Facebook wall was filling up with birthday wishes, but I was still feeling empty. I did, however, have lunch with my former roommate, someone that no matter how incredibly busy she is will always care about my feelings and the only person that did blink, remembering it was my birthday.
The rest of the day went on as any other Tuesday except for the dark cloud that still hung over our campus as well as all of Boston. I went home, which I guess is when my roommates said “Happy Birthday” if I saw them, which I really don’t remember.
By 8pm, I still didn’t know about celebrating and I still had not heard from my best friend here at school. I texted her something semi-rude, probably, “Ummm hello?!?”. I also texted my Relay co-chair. She said she would meet me at MaryAnn’s, but then quickly changed her mind with a huge apology saying that she just didn’t think it was appropriate to celebrate tonight. I was angry. But I was angry because she was right. So I didn’t go out. And here’s Lesson 2: Life moves on. The hardest part wasn’t that April 16th still had to come like any other day after the Marathon; it was that April 17th still had to come even though I didn’t have a birthday.
Lesson 3: Get over yourself.
For a while after, I said that I had postponed my 21st. But the full-out celebration I had wanted never came. I say today that I never had a 21st birthday, because that’s how I feel. In the end, it sucked. And this lesson is about putting that “suck” in past tense.
Who am I to whine on and on about not getting a 21st birthday when this must have been the most miniscule effect of the Marathon bombings? I think that a lot of college kids, myself definitely included, get way too engrossed with our own lives to realize how much goes on outside of them. I am sure many of you can share the life lessons I have learned from this experience and compare them to your own Marathon experiences. One minute you are celebrating with your friends, cheering on runners, living YOUR life to the fullest; the next, you are sitting in silence, lost in your thoughts and realizing you never thought about anyone else’s life that day until those bombs went off.
People lost their lives, their limbs, and loved ones that day, while all I lost was a dumb birthday that I had clearly built too far up. Additionally, as the daughter of a runner, it truly pains me that so many people, especially my fellow BC students, who trained and fundraised long and hard for the Marathon, were unable to finish. Coming so close to achieving such an amazing goal and then being stopped right in your tracks, I imagine, is incredibly heartbreaking. And there’s Lesson 3: Get over yourself. So many other people were impacted in much worse ways than I was. And even if I did want to be a little self-indulgent, in the grand scheme of my life, even just my college years, how important would my 21st birthday be? Really not all that important at all.
Even though last year’s Boston Marathon produced difficult times for myself and my city as a whole, I am even more excited for this year; a year older and good bit wiser. Just as I feel a part of something bigger than myself when I cheer in the stands at a BC football game, being part of the Boston Marathon, even as a spectator, is more empowering, exciting, and fulfilling than any 21st birthday celebration there could have been. This year, we are all Boston Stronger; see you at Mile 21.