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Lent – No More Boys

Ever since I became an avid reader when I was a child, I was always drawn to books with a bit of romance in them. I just couldn’t justify reading an entire book if there was no hint of something in the main character’s love life. I shamefully admit I read the entire Harry Potter series in one weekend just to find out who ended up with whom, after my brother said it wasn’t Harry and Hermione. (Hoping I am not the only one…)

Now that I am older, I am embarrassed to say that the same tendencies carry over into my real life. I am always interested in who is dating whom and what’s going on in their relationship. So it’s not a big leap to say that I am like this with my love life too.

Every time I meet a group of guys, I instantly start to categorize the guys into “friends” or potential boyfriend.” Let me tell you, this is a BAD strategy. As a freshman at BC, I’ve already had a weird hot-and-cold fling, a boyfriend that was really just a friend, and a date with a sociopath.

Upon reflecting my year at BC so far, I realized that a lot of my time was dedicated to boys, and I didn’t really gain anything positive from it. A mentor of mine recently told me, “In college you really only have room for three of the four major categories that make up our lives – academics, extracurricular, friends, and relationships. You can try to do all four, but you will end up slipping in all of them. But if you pick just three, you can excel and not have to make any sacrifices within those three.”

So after coming to the realization that A – my love life sucked and B – I wasn’t happy, I decided I needed to change some things. That’s why I decided to give up boys for Lent. I think it’s important to prioritize yourself.

You cannot enter a relationship if you don’t know who are as an individual first. Plus, no matter how attached you are to your significant other, you will always spend more time with yourself than anybody else.

Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely not swearing boys off permanently. That being said, taking some time for myself and a break from overanalyzing every boy interaction will hopefully provide the reset I need to have a healthier relationship with myself, my friends, and guys I am interested in.

So if you are like me and find yourself focusing on boys a little too much, then I present you this challenge: make an effort to focus more on yourself a little bit each day. Instead of walking to class and thinking about the cute guy you just passed, make a list in your head of ten things you love about yourself. Rather than stressing about what guy to take to your club formal (or similar event) make a pact with your closest friend to go together just the two of you.

In the end, the important thing for me is to realize that guys don’t define me. So whether I’m single, in a relationship, or in the so dreaded “thing,” it shouldn’t change who I am or how I feel about myself. I hope that reading this article confirms that you too are an individual who is worthy, no matter what role guys play in your life.


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