“How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?”
“It’s an obscure number you’ve probably never heard of.”
Hipsters are cooler than the rest of us.
I’m not trying to offend anyone; this is just an undeniable fact. They are politically progressive, obscure, countercultural, creative, and ironic. They listen to the best music and only buy organic. While you sit there in your mass-produced Sperry’s and North Face, they are wearing funky rompers and sweaters that they found in a pile in a thrift store.
As much as BC students like to pretend we don’t like hipsters, secretly, all of us preppy J.Crew kids want to be as cool as them. Contrary to popular belief (mainstream is so not hipster), wearing flannel does not transform you into a sarcastic vegan intellectual. I should know – I’m surrounded by real, actual hipsters in my hometown.
Now don’t be fooled; being a hipster is not as easy as they make it look. I know hipsters exude an air of “I can’t be bothered,” but the truth is, it takes a lot to achieve this level of seeming carelessness. To help you out, here’s a simple guide to become cooler than you currently are. Follow these steps to be perceived as a hipster, and maybe one day you will become a true hipster.
What to wear:
- Skinny jeans: absolute staple. This is your foundation to every outfit. Make sure you buy a size that is uncomfortably tight (like 2-3 sizes smaller than usual).
- Scarves (with fringes and tassels)
- Oversized v-necks
- Side satchel (complete with buttons of cool bands)
- Canvas bag
- Thick-rimmed non-prescription glasses
- Tights with shorts
- Romper with belt
- Ray Bans
- Oxfords with a heel
Absolutely NO brand names or trendy styles. You are no longer allowed to wear your Nike running shoes or Lulus.
So hipster it hurts
Where to shop:
- Local thrift stores
- American Apparel
How to get places:
Ride a bicycle. If you live off campus, you are in luck – it’s the perfect excuse to purchase a messenger bike and casually peddle around campus. Other acceptable options include: riding a scooter, taking the bus, hitch-hiking, or walking.
Where to go:
- Local coffee shops
- Small club venues
- Art museums
What to eat/drink:
- Organic food
- Bonus points: become vegetarian or vegan
What to listen to:
Obscure music that no one knows.
What to talk about:
- Joining the Peace Corps
- Hating Corporate America
- Being liberal
- Critiquing bands (i.e. “Their first EP was just okay.”)
How to spend your time:
- Watching films and documentaries
- Freelance photography with Diana cameras
- Sifting through used bookstores
- Being sarcastic
- Doing something artsy (poetry, graphic design, drawing)
Where to live:
- San Francisco
- Portland, OR
Now keep in mind, becoming a hipster is not as simple as just adding water. You might start drinking more coffee and watching more documentaries, but to become a real hipster takes time. One day you will be able to find obscure music on your own, but for now, these beginner tips will get you going. Baby steps.