“We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.” Gigi, the protagnist in the 2009 film He’s Just Not That Into You, said this seemingly ridiculous line, and girls everywhere cringed at how true these words really are. How many times have all of us sat around our dorms dissecting the reasons that he didn’t text you back this weekend? I’m sure each of us have said things like this to our distraught friends: “He’s totally playing hard to get,” “Maybe he was just too drunk,” and perhaps most ridiculous of all, “It’s because he likes you too much.”
Well, collegiettes, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but here is a list of behaviors that scream, he’s just not that into you, and it’s time we start listening, because when it comes down to it, it’s pretty liberating to toss all those “what if’s” aside. And let’s be real, if he’s just not that into you, he’s just not that worth it!
1. He’s just not that into you if… the only dates he takes you on are to the dining hall:
Spending his meal plan on you does not count as buying you dinner, let alone as a date. And it’s not even about spending money. If a guy wants to date you, he would put a little more creativity and effort into his dates. For goodness sake, he could at least leave campus, we do have all of Boston to explore! It’s always harsh to accept that he’s not into you, but think of it this way, why would you even want to be with a guy that doesn’t put effort into the dates he takes you on?
2. He’s just not that into you if… he only texts you after 11 PM on weekends:
Ah, the booty call. It seems harmless, and it can be, as long as you promise not to think that him texting you to come over at 1 AM means that he really loves your personality. No matter what he says to you late night on the weekends can’t really be taken seriously because a) he’s probably been drinking and b) he wants to hook up with you so…he’ll pretty much say anything. Hook-ups are great and a totally normal part of the college experience, but when a guy is really into you, he’ll want to spend time with you when it’s light on, too.
3. He just not that into you if… he doesn’t walk you home after you hook-up:
Come on ladies, the least he could do is walk you to the closest bus stop, and if he isn’t doing that all signs point to that he is just not that into you. There’s nothing worse than feeling like a booty call, and walking home by yourself on a Saturday morning is a sure way to feel like nothing more than a hook-up. Just think about it, if he didn’t want you to feel that way, he would make the minimal effort of walking you back home, even if it is all the way to Co-Ro… not to mention your safety! If a guy cares about you, he should insist on seeing that you’ll get home safely.
4. He’s just not that into you if… you aren’t hooking up:
Before you freak out, I mean hooking up in whatever way you define it: be that kissing or more. My point is, when a guy likes you, he wants to be physically affectionate. So if you have a guy friend that you have always spent a ton of time with, and you are wondering if there could be something more, chances are the answer is no. Sure, some guys are shy, but if they really want to take your relationship to the next level, they will do that, no matter what it take. Besides, why would you want to be with someone who is afraid to take the next step with you?
Collegiettes, realizing your man is doing one of these four moves should NEVER make you feel bad about yourself. What you have to realize is that you are WAY too good to ever let someone treat you like that. Keep your standards high and eventually things are sure to work out. And don’t worry, Gigi offers us more encouraging words of wisdom, “Maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken hearts, through blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.”