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Giving Tough Love

I don’t know what it is about the second semester, but it always tends to bring out the dramatic sides of people. Maybe it’s because housing is approaching or maybe people are becoming more stressed out about summer plans. Maybe the realization that the year is coming to an end is bringing about a little anxiety. In the past three weeks, I have felt as if I am on a rollercoaster, experiencing several rises and plummets. Within my circle of friends, there have been breakups, toxic roommates, the dreaded on-again-off-again relationships, and the return of the boy from my past. It is in situations like this when you realize who your true friends are. It may be difficult to accept the fact that the friend who constantly talks about her own life and neglects hearing about yours is probably not the best person to keep around. If you are very lucky, you may end up with a tight-knit group of friends who are always ready to listen to every crazy story or the hardest regrets.

Life is not like the movies. Everything will not be all better the morning after a girls night in. It takes a lot more than just talking and offering advice to fix the challenging problems. My current struggle is when some of my closest friends continuously come to me for advice (typically boy related), refuse to listen, and there we remain in the vicious cycle of being upset but not wanting to fix it. As a friend, it’s a really hard thing to sit there and watch all of this happen, and now there is nothing you can do about it. But the best way to handle something like this, is to allow the other person to learn on her own. Sure, you could get upset, say I told you so, or stop listening, but that is definitely not the most mature way to handle it. I have learned that for people going through tough times, the only thing they want to hear is that their friends are there for them no matter what they say or how they decide to act.

These three weeks have showed me who my true friends are and who exactly I can count on to listen when I need it. I also think I have grown as a friend by learning to be more aware of what my friends need from me and recognizing when we all just need our space. Times may be tough, but don’t give up just yet. The friends who are still there after a few rough patches are the friends that will be by your side for years to come.





Taylor is a Junior at Boston College, majoring in Economics and minoring in English. When not writing articles for Her Campus BC, she can be found at BCMUN meetings, volunteering in the Admissions office, or taking classes at the Plex.
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