*SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE SERIES FINALE, DO NOT READ ON.
To my favorite Hollywood entourage,
You’ve certainly grown up since we first met. E, you were just the nice Catholic boy at the end of countless short jokes. Drama, you were the has-been joke of Viking Quest, and Turtle the pot head and loyal driver. Vince, you were only just hitting the Hollywood scene after Head On, and Ari, well, you were just his outgoing agent.
How times have changed.
Eight seasons, hundreds of sex positions, and countless scripts later, our time hugging it out has come to an end. We saw E take on his own management firm, Drama land new TV gigs, Turtle become a successful (and svelte) business man, Vince finally fall in love, and Ari put an end to his career-obsessed life.
Your audience of mostly college bros (and apparently many of us girls) loved watching the team tackle the challenges of Hollywood. Through it all though, deep down, we knew it would somehow “work out,” as it always did. No, it may not have been very realistic: your lifestyle of promiscuity and riding in the fast lane a bit exaggerated, Bob Saget a tad too vulgar, and Sloan, at times, too beautiful. But we loved every minute of it.
Well, not all of us. Some had issues with the way you treated women, which was pretty disgusting, to say the least. It seemed the only one who had any bit of respect for us females was E… and even that went down the tubes sometimes. Alas, however, it seems you may have made an effort in this last season. Mrs. Ari got a name (woah), stood up to Ari’s abusive treatment, and even made him realize where his values truly lie in life (not the studio?! Ari? Is that you?). Vince somehow fell in love and E almost moved across the country to take care of his unborn child.
Your entourage made for an iconic tale that will go down in the books with the likes of The Sopranos and Sex and the City. As we peered into the Hollywood show-biz lifestyle that intrigues us all so much, we grew to know a family of five. A family that even through the final episode proved to stick together till the end. And we thank you for that.
In fact, maybe the story ended on an even more positive and deeper note than any of us could have ever expected. At the end of a saga that glorified the life of excess and diluted morals, a life that places money at the top of the pedestal, it seems you boys may have finally grown up. It seems one of the final notes of your journey was that of family, friends, and love triumphing any monetary value or career success (cue the awwww’s).
But wait… who am I kidding, maybe Kanye wasn’t there to accompany you this time around… but you did leave us on two private jet planes. It seems some things will never change.
And until then, boys, we await your feature length on the big screen.
With love,
Julie