Dear Freshman Me,
Someone recently asked me what advice I would give to you. I immediately thought back to our first month here at BC. Freshman me, you’ve had a crazy September. You’ve met all these people in your dorm, tried (and after a while succeeded) in finding all the good bathrooms on Middle Campus, and screamed your heart out at the most amazing football game you’ve ever experienced in your life. There’s no denying it: September rocked. And you can’t wait for what the rest of the year has to offer.
But then things will start changing. You will wake up in October, the dream of having a successful long distance relationship destroyed, and see that somewhere along the way everyone has found their best friend. You’ll realize that people have joined every club under the sun and that means they’re never around. You’ll find that there are some crazy smart people at BC and even though you were rocking it in high school, that doesn’t mean you’ll rock it in college.
Freshman me, you will make every mistake possible. You won’t join clubs. You won’t talk to people in class. You won’t study enough. You’ll spend too much money. You’ll gain the ‘freshman 15.’ You’ll eat way too much late night and forget to go to the Hut. You will hook up with the wrong people. You won’t talk to people about your problems. You’ll tag along to events without inviting people to begin with. You’ll jump into group Snapchats, screenshot them, and post them onto Facebook to prove to people that “you’re doing college right”, not because you’re actually having fun. You’ll try to make friends with the wrong people and stick around for way too long. Freshman me, you will be a mess by the end of the year. But the worst thing that you will do is hide.
Please, if there is anything I can tell you not to do, if there is any advice I can give to you, it will be this: don’t hide. I know why you will want to. It’s embarrassing being seen alone. It’s embarrassing to grab dinner alone, to ride the bus alone, to do anything alone. Everyone told you, “Don’t worry.” They said, “Making friends is easy.” And yet here you are, realizing every day that the people around you are surrounded by friends, and you’re not. So you hide. But please, don’t. Don’t hide in your dorm when you don’t have anyone to go to dinner with and then get late night because getting late night by yourself is more socially acceptable then getting dinner by yourself. Don’t hide in your room on a Saturday night when everyone is going out and you’re too embarrassed to be seen in your sweatpants and messy bun. Don’t hide in your room instead of going to that concert that you really want to go to but won’t because none of your friends want to go.
It doesn’t matter that you’re alone. It doesn’t matter that you don’t really have friends. People aren’t judging you, I promise. Just because in that moment you’re alone doesn’t mean that you will always be that way. If you hide, you will find yourself alone for a lot longer than if you just suck it up and go grab dinner by yourself. Go to that concert by yourself. It really isn’t that much more fun if you go with people that you know. Who cares if no one wants to go to Boston and you were with people who low-key judged a girl who went to a coffee shop by herself to do homework? She probably was doing the right thing because honestly, who can do homework with someone else at Starbucks? Suck it up, get on the T and go find that random, hole in the wall coffee shop and get your work done!
I have so many regrets from freshman year. I did everything all wrong. And it’s hurting me now that it’s sophomore year. But you can change that. BC is way different that what you expect and it’s going to be one of the hardest years of your life. There will be laughter in your future, there will be tears, and there will be nights where everything seems to go right and nights where everything definitely goes wrong. But please Freshman me, when you look around and see people spending time with their friends and no one is by your side, don’t flee to your bed. There is so much more outside Keyes North 114 for you to explore, to experience, and cheating yourself out of that is cruel. Being alone isn’t something to be ashamed of. But hiding is.
I hope you act like this girl. Don’t be afraid of what is in front of you. I hope you do everything that you want to do. I hope you have no regrets.
Love,
Maddy Locicero
Sophomore Me
Photo Sources:
http://thestressoflife.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/hiding.jpg