Dear 10-13-Year-Old Girl Music Video “Industry,”
I would first and foremost like to thank you. I would like to thank you for sharing your passion for singing and “dancing” with all of us. Your videos have truly impressed me. This is a fan letter, if you will, to my three favorites: Rebecca Black, Jenna Rose, and CJ Fam.
Your song lyrics really speak to me, and I believe to the vast majority of Americans as well. I mean, Rebecca Black, you address the issue of picking seats in the car so thoroughly. What American doesn’t face this exact problem every day? I know that every time I open the car door, I stop, bewildered, and think “Which seat can I take?” Naturally, like you, I always pick the middle seat. It is typically everyone’s favorite, is it not? Furthermore, a friend of mine brought up a good point: what a relief you didn’t have to pick a seat on the bus, like originally planned! All the seats to choose from, it would have been quite the ordeal.
Jenna Rose, your lyrics too, have left me stunned. I don’t think I ever realized it was possible to wear your jeans like someone. Until your song, I always just assumed everyone wore jeans the same way. Luckily, you saved me from this faux-pas! Perhaps, however, my favorite line is, “ABC, 1-2-3, that girl wore her jeans like me, I bet she’s mad, cuz I look fab, ha-ha-ha-ha, jack my swag.” It all makes sense now. I saw a girl wearing dark skinny jeans just like me last Friday night, and she looked pretty livid. It was probably because I jacked her, and every other girl wearing skinny jeans on Friday night (aka the entire campus), swag. Forgive me, girls wearing skinny jeans! I didn’t mean to!
Oh and CJ Fam, where do I begin? I totally feel you. You just want to be an ordinary pop star. It’s a rough life being a pop sensation. Having the paparazzi following you everywhere… it happened to me when I was ten, too. You just want to be a talented diva without the camera flashes following you everywhere, and “TMI” filming your every move. I feel that, girl. Is it really too much to ask? I say not. So let us look to our idol, one Miss Hannah Montana – if she can do it, so can we.
As you may (or may not) know, many people have been criticizing you all lately. Some have ventured so far as to say, “We don’t hate you because you’re famous, you’re famous because we hate you.” But listen, I don’t hate you at all!
I mean if it wasn’t for you, Rebecca, I wouldn’t know that Friday follows Thursday, Saturday follows Friday, or that Sunday comes afterward.
If it wasn’t for you, Jenna Rose, I wouldn’t know that bedazzled jeans are the next big thing. Even though BC is such a “high-fashion” campus, it has not seemed to pick up on this yet. Could it be that I could start this trend before the fashionistas discover it? I hope so! Golly, to think what this could do for my social status!
I didn’t forget you, CJ Fam. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t think I would have ever realized just how much attitude a “down-to-earth” girl could have. You have actually given that phrase a whole new meaning for me. You know what? Now that I think about it, those Real Housewives on Bravo are pretty “down-to-earth” too, aren’t they?
I just wish you all would have come around sooner. I mean, when I was ten, I too was making music videos. Granted, they were made with a massive VHS camera from the 1980’s, and I was merely lip-singing to S Club 7 songs, but if I had only thought to share them with the world, instead of just my mom, my life could be so different!
Maybe I didn’t think of sharing them with the world because I was apparently not nearly as cool as you all, especially you, Rebecca, when I was thirteen. I mean, how embarrassing, to watch “Friday,” and have the realization that the rest of my fellow eighth-graders were not inviting me to these Friday night homecoming dress ragers. All these years, I thought I was a well-liked member of my class, but it turns out they were all throwin’ down on Friday nights behind my back. Ouch.
Let’s not even get me started on the whole driving situation. I mean, shoot, I didn’t think twice about hopping into my mom’s minivan to go to the mall or my friends’ houses. In fact, I thought I was pretty cool when I got to ride in the front seat. But apparently, I should have been driving around with my friends or riding in the back of a limo.
How did you all know to be so savvy? Thinking of these things that never even crossed my mind as a tween!
I guess all I can do is thank you. Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for being such educational, inspirational role models.
With love,
Your number one fan,
Julianne
Sources:
http://www.estergoldberg.com/views_from_a_broad/2010/08/real-housewives-…
Rebecca Black: Friday: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0
Jenna Rose: Jeans Like Me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DwT_2QQU64
CJ Fam: Ordinary Pop Star: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oVnBGRIZSQ