Ok, so you’ve hooked up. A few times, actually. And now, you’re sitting in your common room talking with your roommates, wondering where you stand with Joe Bro. It’s been discussed. It’s been analyzed and criticized over and over again. But it hasn’t been laid out, step by step.
My roommates and I were sitting around our kitchen table discussing the progression from friend to hook-up buddy to relationship. I must say, I think they came up with a pretty good system, so if you’re the girl sitting on her bed right now wondering where you stand, read on and pay attention. This article is for you: it’s the relationship ladder.
It starts with the hook-up. And this hook-up can range from a make-out session to sex. You were drunk at a party and have only hooked-up with this person once, maybe twice. If you were really drunk, you may awkwardly see them in Lower, wondering if they remembered you or not. You’re definitely not exclusive. This is stage one. It’s no big deal.
So there’s the hook-ed up. Past tense. Happened once or twice. But then there is the “hooking-up,” aka consistent hook-ups (three or more). These happen sober or drunk, and there may be some communication during the week, but this communication is minimal, so you’re still not exclusive. You’re free to do whatever you want. You’re having fun with the person and are going with the flow. Stage two.
From here it might progress to our next step: “Seeing someone.” When you’re seeing someone, you’re still not exclusive, but you would be offended if he hooked up with someone else. You may see this person as in you want to eventually date them, or you may see them until you find someone better. Ouch, but true. In this stage, you’re friends, hooking up consistently, and may even go out to lunch or dinner around campus or to a place like El Pelon or Crazy Dough’s. Stage three.
Ok, so you really like this guy, and he likes you. So you’re dating. You are exclusively seeing this person, and you’re probably going on off-campus dates. It’s pretty simple, really. His roommates will probably make fun of him, calling you his girlfriend, but he blows it off. Stage four.
The last stage is the relationship stage. In this stage, the only difference from dating is that you’re Facebook official, your parents know, and you’re friends at home know too. You may even bring him home over break. Whoa. You’ve reached stage five – a stage that many students think is rare.
These stages do not have to happen in order. You may skip steps, or even start in stage three, for example.
Now, of course, each and every hook-up, relationship, and friendship situation is different. Everyone is unique in how they handle said situations. So these stages are general outlines of what typically happens. Take it as you will, BC, and happy psychoanalyzing! Hope it provides some insight and helps with Joe Bro!
*The Stages of Relationship Ladder was analyzed and drawn up by sophomores Kristen Nervo and Darla Devito.