Here’s the scenario – you spot the girl that you were best friends with at orientation waiting in line at the Mac n’ Cheese bar. You get so excited that you hurdle over the rope line, shout her name and attack her with a bear hug. You proceed to chat for approximately twenty seconds:
“Hey, how are you?”
“We didn’t see each other at all last year! Where did you live again? Oh, I lived on Fenwick 3, too…”
“How are your classes?”
“Where are you living this year? Oh, CoRo… I’m sorry.”
Your froyo is now melting at an exponential rate, so you end the conversation with:
“We should totally get lunch sometime soon!”
“Yeah, that would be great, it was so good to see you!”
That’s it. You forget all about your fake lunch plans until you see her next at the Plex. Then in O’Neill. Then in the Rat. You start to think maybe the universe is trying to tell you something, or that she’s stalking you. That superficial “let’s get lunch” conversation still hangs in the air every time you awkwardly wave and smile in her direction.
It’s time to break this vicious cycle.
Be the initiator! After your conversation, send a text or Facebook message saying “Hey, it was so great to see you! If you are free at all next week, I would love to get lunch!” If you actually get to the point where you are sitting down and having lunch, good for you! A lot of people don’t even get that far. But don’t let your relationship end with a Tuscan chicken.
Instead of keeping a large repotoir of “lunch dates,” put in some effort to reach out to these people, even after lunch, and let them know that you really are interested in catching up with them! Next time you see them at the Plex, ask them if they want to grab dinner. If you see them sitting in O’Neill, ask if you can join them in preparing for a tidal wave of midterms. Keeping a friendship casual is easy, it’s hard to get to know people on a deeper level. You never know, maybe this person is having a hard time and could use your advice. It never hurts to give a friendship a chance to blossom.
So, next time you are confronted with the lunch date problem, really put in the effort to follow up with the person. You never know where it will lead.
Photo Source:
http://fabandfru.com/2012/03/out-to-lunch/