*This is meant as a piece of satire. These are actually probably the worst places to study.
It’s that time of year again! Who doesn’t love cramming for finals, staying up all night and slowly, but surely, losing your mind? If you want to do the best studying, you have to pick the best locations. Don’t worry – I’ve tried them all, and I’m here to announce the winners.
The Floor of Your Double
Seriously, studying on the floor of your tiny, cramped and messy double is the ideal study spot. You have all of your belongings within arms reach, and there’s plenty of room for your friends to come study with you. There is definitely nothing distracting about this plan, so go for it!
A Dining Hall
Dining halls were practically made for studying. Think about it – snacks, everywhere, and some prime people watching. What else could you ask for? Plus, if someone from your class walks by, you can wave them over so both of you can exchange pleasantries and talk about how wildly unprepared you are for the exam. Studies show that talking about your imminent failure ensures that you will, in fact, fail.
On Stokes Lawn
You know how the lawn in front of Stokes is always so crowded during the nice weather? Well, lucky for you, no one is trying to study there now! You can sit anywhere you want. Just make sure you watch your things very closely, or else they’ll probably get sucked into the mud. Make sure to also wear a scarf!
A Library (Circa 1PM on Study Days)
If you walk into Bapst early afternoon during study days, you’ll definitely be able to grab a seat with no problem. Don’t worry about that crazy-eyed student who seems like they’ve been guarding seats for hours – they’re probably just having a bad hair day or something. If you, for whatever reason, can’t find a seat immediately, just politely yell “DOES ANYONE HAVE AN EXTRA SEAT? ANYONE AT ALL? CAN I COME SIT WITH YOU? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEE.” It’ll work, trust me.
A Trendy Coffee Shop
If you really want to class up your study sesh, hop on the T for about an hour or so until you find the trendiest coffee shops around. Once you’re there, be overwhelmed for a few minutes with all of the complicated latte names and glares from usual customers. This should take about an hour. Once you decide on a beverage, find a table and get to work! And by work I obviously mean people watch for a few more minutes, until you finish you coffee and then leave. Get back on the T, continue to waste time, and then just go to sleep. You’ve had a really busy day.
I don’t want to brag and say these study spots always work, but I will say that they don’t always not work. Happy studying, friends. Be sure to share these awesome study spots with everyone you know, so that you leave the usual spaces for the rest of us. We appreciate it.