“You’re early…”
When one Non-Persian guest arrives on time. Yes, this has happened so much that my mother has now resorted to telling our Persian family members and our Non-Persian guests different times to arrive. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. What is the difference in time you might ask? Well it depends on the Holiday, but usually between one hour to an hour and a half difference in time. So if we want to eat at 7 my Persian family will be told “5:45 pm” and our other guests will be told dinner at 7. Of course a night really gets complicated when our family tries to show up on time and they realize that they were told an earlier time.
“You are too skinny” or “you’ve gotten fat…good”
Of course this is a common theme for most family gatherings no matter what culture. I swear this seems to be a yearly debate that comes with Thanksgiving. I am always reprimanded for not having more of a womanly figure, but hey, at least my aunt and uncles always try to force feed me whenever the Holidays roll around. My answer is always, “Yeah, bring on those kabobs and potatoes!”
“Gins” “ehschool” “Face-eh-book” “ehcookie” “pedarsagh”
Translation: Jeans, School, Facebook, dessert, the boys you date (directly it means dog, but in reference to men not the animal). I should have listened to the wise Persian men. All of these are normal topics of conversation. Believe it or not, each of these can take 10 minutes to an hour of discussion with the majority of the room. Everyone’s yelling over one another to be heard and by the time you finally figure out what the topic is they move on to the next topic. I think I have sat through about fifteen different conversations about jeans; for some reason it is a really hot topic – the material, the cut, style, sparkle no sparkle, skinny, tight. It is an endless topic and everyone has an opinion.
“Fesenjoon”
Yeah, no, that is not the sound of someone sneezing. This delightfully colored dish is actually our version of cranberry sauce. It is not made with cranberries, but instead is made with pomegranates, ground walnuts, onions, and usually contains ground chicken or chicken drumsticks topped with some mint. It sounds like a odd mix of flavors but it will tantalize your tastebuds!
“Mashed Potatoes!”
This might surprise you but because we don’t have Turkey like a traditional Thanksgiving, someone is always designated to make ‘American Mashed Potatoes.’ The funny thing is this is always the highlight of the evening: everyone discusses the technique that went into making the ‘funny looking’ dish. Then, the conversation usually takes a turn to discuss the reasons why the cook did not add paprika, Turmeric, or Sumac, and usually that leads into a whole long discussion about the proper way to prepare this super simple staple of Thanksgiving.
“Keep the yogurt container”
First, yes we eat yogurt with basically everything. We eat it on rice, meat, and with our stuffing, and it’s normal to use up a few containers of the yogurt by the time dinner is over. However, if you were to ever look in my family’s fridge at home, you would see that we don’t buy Tupperware, mostly we just keep the plastic containers of yogurt and store all out leftovers in those. So when you have 20+ people dinning with you, pretty much everyone gets a party favor: a yogurt container filled with the remnants of our feast. Most likely the family who takes home the leftovers will keep the container for future use – as my mom says, “Why throw it out when it is perfectly good to use? Eh Azizam use your brain.” As if it’s obvious!
“Place it next to others”
When you ask what you should do with your PLASTIC plate. Yes, those get washed and dried too.
In length discussions on the authenticity of the numerous Persian rugs
This usually starts to happen towards the end of the night and starts with one person who gets really down and personal with the rug under their feet. I mean lying on the floor like their nose in the threads kind of close. Usually by that point, his friends have joined him.
“Chai”
Tea. This isn’t a question. This is a statement. Everyone gets a glass of piping hot tea in a glass cup- mugs are for the weak. If you want to drink your tea, you will burn your hand, tongue and throat.
“Wait don’t forget the Tadegh”
Finally two hours after the first goodbye was said, the first family has the courage to leave. It comes out of not wanting to offend anyone because they left too early but that goodbye process starts early to make sure they sufficiently hug and kiss everyone at the party, even the people they just met that night. By the end of the night, everyone is family and if you are newcomers to the group you have been invited to like ten other homes for dinner. And you cannot forget the left overs! Never forget the leftovers.
Photo Sources:
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Podstakannik_and_glass_of_tea.jpg