I’ve always been the kind of person who expects something bad to happen, and I always thought that having this mentality made me realistic about the hardships of life. However, this pessimism led me down a slippery slope. One bad thing happened, and I dragged that onto a million other things, not even thinking about one good thing that might occur. In this instance, while going through the hardest semester of my life, this mentality consumed me. I was in a bad mood every day, my anxiety spiked up like never before, and I didn’t feel happy at all. And this was very hard to accept, considering I was applying to internships, I had two jobs, I was fulfilling personal goals, and I was surrounded by healthy relationships. Therefore, I thought to myself: why do bad things keep happening to me if I’m doing everything right? And, well, I hit rock bottom. And this rock bottom was different from those I’ve experienced before, considering it came slowly and became bigger exponentially until one day I couldn’t take it anymore. I realized this pessimism came from past experiences that I hadn’t had the chance to sit down to think about because of my busy schedule. So, one day I sat down and talked with my roommates about how I was feeling and they guided me with things I could do to shift my mindset and perspective. Here they are:
- Gratitude Jar
I know this might sound dumb, but by having a gratitude jar in my kitchen I can think at least twice a day in good things. At first, it seemed silly. I obviously started out by putting broad things such as “I am grateful for my family and friends,” yet these eventually burnt out. Thus, I made a promise to myself to never repeat one, which led me to think about things in depth rather than just write broad things. And don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with writing those things out, but I realized that when I dig deep into my feelings and the good things that were happening around me at the moment, it had a more positive effect on my mental health. I even put it in the kitchen to do alongside my roommates so we held each other accountable.
- Debriefing as a Priority
I love talking. And my mind does too. This year I’ve realized that most of the talking I do happens inside my mind, which naturally leads me to conglomerate all of my feelings and they mix up with each other. For this reason, I realized that this was doing me more harm than good. Therefore, my roommates and I set a time to sit down and debrief: talk about our feelings and ask for advice if needed. By treating this debriefing time as a priority, I’ve been able to be more self-aware of my feelings. Saying things out loud truly helps put things into perspective as well as hearing an outside opinion of what you are thinking.
- Seeing the Good in Little Things
I saw this on TikTok and I promise it changed my life. Basically, when one bad thing is happening, take a moment and search for something good at that instant. For example, I lost my flight a couple of weeks ago, which is surely a very stressful situation. I remembered this TikTok and stopped for a second to look around. I saw this beautiful family and it reminded me of the family I wanted to have one day myself. It truly calmed me down, and that was when I realized the power perspective has on our thoughts. I know it doesn’t sound like something one would do during the day-to-day, but creating a habit out of it truly changed my life.
- Eating a balanced diet
Having a balanced diet changed everything for me. When I was putting bad food in my mouth, I felt bad about myself and my day instantly went downhill. I’ve never been on a diet because I just love to eat so much, but by becoming more aware of the things I am eating, it has helped me change my negative attitude into a more positive one simply because I feel better.
- Personal time
With the harsh schedule I had, I literally had no time to sit down and organize my feelings. Everything mashed in together until one day I cried about it, but then it happened again. This is when I realized that setting one time a week to simply be with myself has life-changing outcomes. It varies a lot: I go for walks, journal, eat my favorite food, or watch my favorite movie. I often thought that because I didn’t have time, I couldn’t do that kind of stuff. However, that is the sole most important thing for my happiness and to achieve a positive perspective.
Ultimately, doing little things changes one’s mindset. It sounds impossible, but by implementing little habits such as these in the day-to-day, they lead to unbelievable outcomes. And it obviously is a work in progress, but I can now say that every day I live my life with more light and hope in it. Surely every day isn’t perfect, but acknowledging that and still choosing to see the good is how my life was changed. Lastly, I wanted to leave y’all with one message: perspective is power.