How is school going? What do you think of our president? Did you get taller? And then comes the worst of all, are you in a relationship yet? These are all questions we hear at least once a year at Thanksgiving dinner. We trudge along from family member to family member answering the same questions over and over again. After what seems like hours, we finally sit down to eat, then we have to deal with Uncle Joe and Aunt Shirley (yes, these are made up names) getting into an argument over who passed the green beans to who first. Little Jimmy and Bobby are sitting at the kids’ table, wreaking as much havoc as their small hands can manage. Everyone is talking at once about so many different topics, and it is easy to get overwhelmed with everything going on. Thanksgiving can definitely be stressful with so many family members in one place, but if you use these tips, dinner will seem like a breeze.
1. Never Talk Politics!
Politics are a very sensitive topic for some people, and no matter how academically or unbiased you discuss it, someone will almost always get their feelings hurt. I have had numerous instances in which politics came up during a family gathering and it never ended well. Instead, try to keep topics light and fun. Talking about anything in the entertainment field such as movies and books is always a good option. You could also talk about work, school, sports or the food and when in doubt, always resort to the weather. As cliche, as it sounds, bringing up how nice the weather has been lately, could lead the conversation away from disaster. If the conversation about politics does come up, just listen and try not to let your feelings get the best of you. When there’s a break, try to change the subject into something else. If things happen to get heated before you can do that, maybe try to defuse the situation by reminding everyone that you are all there as a family and you don’t want to spoil a good meal with talk of politics.
2. Don’t Get Bothered by All of the Questions
I know how easy it is to get annoyed with all of the pestilent questions, trust me. I hated having to answer the same things over and over again, but then I took a step back and realized that they asked because they actually wanted to know. You may not see your family a lot, so they are genuinely interested in your life and how you are doing. Some family members may ask questions in a pointed way that seems more like an attack than anything else, but all you have to do is answer it truthfully and move on! You shouldn’t hide your answer or get defensive because who cares if you have a partner or if you had to retake a class? As long as you are happy, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
3. Help Out With the Cooking and Cleaning
This tip depends on the person who is hosting because some hosts prefer to do it themselves, but even offering will mean a lot. Asking to help with these things will make you look great in their eyes and it will make you feel good. It is also a good way to spend time distracted from all of the chaos that is a family gathering. This is also extremely helpful if you get anxious when there is a lot of noise or a lot of things going on. Offering to help the host can distract you and put your focus on something else for a bit.
4. Take a Breather When Needed
If it all gets to be too much, don’t be afraid to step away and take a minute to yourself. It can be overwhelming and although it is people we know, that doesn’t mean we can’t get anxious. If it is before dinner, step outside and get a breath of fresh air. If you are feeling overwhelmed during dinner, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then just breathe and splash some water on your face. With so much happening, it is normal to feel overwhelmed, but there is nothing wrong with stepping back when needed.
5. STAY SAFE!
Thanksgiving will look a bit different this year thanks to COVID-19, but no matter who you are celebrating with, be sure to stay safe! Ask whoever you are going to be with ahead of time if they want everyone to wear a mask, and even if they say no, do what makes you feel more comfortable. Wash your hands often and avoid hugging or sitting close to people who have not been self-isolating or who are visiting from out of town. Try to quarantine after thanksgiving if you see people from out of town or who you normally do not come into contact with. Lastly, if you are in any way uncomfortable with the number of people that are going or the number of people from out of town, just don’t go. Your safety and their safety is a priority and it may be sad to not see your family on Thanksgiving, but at least you know everyone will be healthy and safe.
Holidays can be stressful and when you put everyone together in one place, it becomes even more difficult to maintain order. Keeping these tips in mind and knowing your limits is a sure way to stay sane during Thanksgiving and have an amazing holiday with your family.