Being in college makes life feel like it’s flying by. Maybe you feel like you’ll never catch up. On every social media platform, there’s engagement after engagement, wedding after wedding, countless baby showers, which are all very exciting. However, it makes you wonder…when will that part of my life begin? When will I find someone who loves me so much that they choose me to spend the rest of their life with? From the moment we find our first crush in elementary school, we spend so much of our time chasing love that provides us with mutual affection and support. Especially being in our early twenties, the phrase “ring by spring” adds this pressure to be engaged by graduation. For me, it makes me feel like I’m running out of time to find the person I want to be with. I’ve spent a lot of time in relationships and after my last break up, I felt lost and unsure of where I was supposed to go from there. It felt like I wouldn’t be able to trust or ever feel that comfortable with anyone ever again.
No relationship will be fulfilling if you aren’t content with yourself first. I know what you’re thinking, just another person telling you (again) that you should love yourself before you love anyone else. I would agree with that, but what no one tells you is how much fun learning to love your own life is. Sure, you’re free to talk to whoever you want and date whoever you want, but true happiness comes from being able to figure out what you like and what you don’t without the influence of anyone else. You get to try new things with new people, or maybe old friends you haven’t seen in a while. When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I threw myself into working out and I’ve loved it ever since. It changed a lot for me, it gave me more confidence and independence. When you’re single, the only person you have to consider in your decisions is yourself, and I think that is when you are really able to start finding out who you are, the activities you enjoy, the type of people you want to surround yourself with and even the standards you want your next partner to be able to meet. Once you start investing in yourself and moving towards your full potential, you won’t feel the need to chase people. Those meant to be in your life will gravitate towards you.
Even further, being single can help you recognize your own flaws. I never knew how manipulative or inconsiderate I could be, until I was newly single and spent so much time overthinking past conversations I had with significant others. There’s so much growth to be had while you’re single and we often forget how much better of a person we can become during that time. We spend so many hours crying over losers who leave us on delivered for 2-3 business days or really only show interest in us for our body. The best way to live a single life is to stop focusing so hard on things that are out of your control and start focusing on the things that you can change if you want to. The best feeling is leveling up and having the power to leave THEM on delivered.
Never give into society’s expectations of what is right or what is wrong, each of us is doing this life at our own pace. You’re not too late, it’ll happen for you when you are ready.