Learning to live with anyone, no matter how similar you both are, can be difficult. Especially when transitioning to an entirely new atmosphere like college. I’ve experienced two different roommates and two suitemates in my time at college. Fortunately, I’ve been blessed with good roommates and friends all around, all very different from each other. This peace has been achieved through a basic foundation of three values which are care, communication, and common ground. To summarize, respecting each other’s space and learning from each other. Here’s how to follow these three values.
1. Care
To care for your roommates is to consider their needs when living together and respecting their space and feelings. Usually, college RA’s or “Community Leaders” at Baylor give a worksheet explicitly saying what a person will allow and not allow, which includes what you can borrow and roommate study habits. Baylor University gives a roommate match option before even moving into a dorm. Out of respect for your roommate and yourself, fill all these forms out honestly. Don’t pretend to be more relaxed than you truly are, or resentment may come later that isn’t even your roommate’s fault, as you didn’t fill out the worksheet honestly. Overall, just learn your roommates boundaries and needs and respect them.
2. Communication
If you think your roommate seems unhappy and you think it’s due to you, talk to them. Most of the time, it’s just their own personal life and not your actions but you can be there for them in that aspect as well. If you aren’t a fan of confrontation, set up a weekly check in with your roommate, which can even be done by text. This is so you both have an excuse to communicate with each other. Over time, communication will become more comfortable. Communication, even small communication, can help you learn so much about your roommate and who they are.
3. Common Ground
Hopefully, you and your roommate get along and have enough common ground in order to bond. If not, that is ok. Not all roommates are best friends, and you don’t have to be friends, just civil with each other. If you are worried about bonding with your roommate, find a neutral T.V. show or movie to watch with them. I recommend reality T.V. as it’s easy to talk about. Or even eat a quick lunch together if you both are in the room. If that doesn’t work, and you can’t seem to bond, it is ok. You will make other friends. Just at least have the common ground that you both will respect each other’s space and time in the room together.
Overall, having a roommate is a great learning experience. You learn to share with another person and communicate efficiently. Hopefully you are able to put these tips to use and have a great living experience with your roommate.