Every time I bring up the fact that I live alone (with my dog, of course), my friends always have something to say. Many of them say that they are too afraid to be alone to ever do it. While I understand these concerns, I am grateful for my own space, as I am constantly surrounded by groups of other students. In the time that I have lived alone, I have learned a lot and grown exponentially. It is so important, in today’s society, to learn how to be content with your own company.
First and foremost, the society that we have created has conditioned us to believe that being by ourselves makes us look isolated or left out. It has stopped us from simply going grocery shopping, going to a restaurant, and even exercising because we do not want to be perceived as lonely or as outcasts. Being alone often gives the impression to others that being by ourselves wasn’t a choice we made but is due to our lack of social engagement or even our personal flaws. Further, social media causes the belief, or better, illusion that we are connecting with each other through our devices. Through the ways we use likes and comments, it seems as though we are actually interacting with that other person when in reality, we are not. When we are without that electronic form of communication, we feel excluded and isolated, which can cause significant anxiety for some people. I think that our ceaseless focus on these over-the-phone connections has resulted in our deprivation of real, genuine human interaction, which promotes even more negative feelings towards being alone.
Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. Loneliness implies that you are longing for someone or something to fulfill your own happiness. Many of us have past friendships or relationships that have ended and caused us to feel rejected, unloved, unworthy (or all of the above). Events such as these often push us to conclude that validation can be found in relationships, whether it be with a friend or a significant other. That is where your comfort with being alone becomes crucial. Once you place your own personal validation in the hands of someone else, you are putting your individual growth in danger. Mastering being alone comes with so many benefits regarding your personal development and growth, such as the ability to be introspective. Especially today, with so many opinions floating around on the internet about the pandemic and the election, we sometimes yield to the thoughts and beliefs of others. Being alone allows you to step back, see the whole picture, and decide for yourself exactly what is going on.
We need to start giving as much energy and time as we give others, to ourselves. I started by ignoring the social stigma and doing activities I enjoy on my own, like going to workout at the park or even doing something as simple as going to my favorite coffee shop and studying alone, whereas I normally would go with my friends. If being alone is new to you, start by taking an hour a day to meditate, take a walk or eat a good meal by yourself. Being alone may draw you closer to your inner being, which can allow for better access to your intuition. You will not be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone else if you do not have a healthy relationship with yourself first. You are and will always be worthy of the extra attention that you give yourself. Never forget that.