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Are You Being Benched?

Whether you care to admit it or not, you’ve probably benched someone or have been on the bench yourself at some point in your life. Benching is when someone is stringing you along and keep you waiting because they have other options, and with dating apps and raging hormones, benching is a common occurrence at college. Here are five signs you are being benched.

  1. 1. You always text first

    If you are always the one to check-in and set up plans to meet, they are not that interested. When someone likes you, they will like being around you and actively try to do so by texting you. Bonus point if you only communicate over Snapchat and you don’t actually have their phone number. 

  2. 2. You rarely see them in person

    Benchers like to create vague plans with little commitment or follow through. They often say “probably” or “I’ll check my schedule”, when in reality they will later back out because they are “so busy”. Bonus point if they text you asking to hang out in that exact moment when they know you are in class or working. 

  3. 3. They seem interested every now and then

    They might text you asking to hang out in that exact moment, whether that be 2 a.m. or while you are in class. They want you to think that they’re being cute and care about you, but in reality, they are setting you up to maybe come off the bench that weekend. 

  4. 4. Their friends don't know you exist

    When someone thinks about you a lot and is interested in you, they will tell their friends and want you to meet their friends. Likely, they don’t want this happen and when you do hang out, they try to avoid places where their friends could be. Often times, they will also avoid seeing you on campus or completely ignore you when their friends are around. 

  5. 5. You feel stressed

    It is a classic will they or won’t they. You are always waiting for a response and worried that the plans you make will never follow through. There is no true definition of your relationship and they give you mixed signals of interest and disinterest constantly.

In the end, benching is just a sign that they like someone else more and you are the backup option. If someone likes you, you will not have to fight to get off the bench. So if you are being benched, remember it is not worth your time or effort to be someone’s second string and you deserve someone who puts you first.