10 Red Flags to Stop Ignoring

It’s so easy to jump into a brand-new relationship and overlook the negative characteristics in your partner. Maybe you spend most of your time trying to justify bad behaviors. Maybe you pretend not to see how this may not be a person with good intentions. Either way, it is incredibly important to be aware of red flags in both yourself and all your partners.

  1. 1. Gaslighting

    Does your partner constantly say things to undermine your thoughts and feelings by twisting facts and reality? This manipulation tactic serves to push a power-play dynamic onto your relationship. Ultimately, it is a way for one partner to gain domination and control over the other for some kind of personal gain. 

  2. 2. Possessiveness

    Strong, positive relationships are ALWAYS based in trust. Your partner should not be reading all of your texts, controlling your Snapchat, or telling you who you are “allowed” to be friends with. Holly Golightly said it best: “People don’t belong to people.” Your partner should never want to own you.

  3. 3. Lack of Respect for Boundaries

    Every person on earth has their own set of boundaries. For example, I am not a fan of Public Displays of Affection in any manner. Last year, I also had a boyfriend who would get furious at me for not being comfortable making out with him in PUBLIC! After I broke it off with him, it was plain to see that he really didn’t respect any of my boundaries. You should definitely ask yourself if your partner is respectful of your wishes. Maybe you, like me, have made it clear that you aren’t comfy with kissing in public. Maybe he constantly kisses you in front of your friends anyways. It is important to understand that your boundaries are valid, and you always deserve for them to be respected.

  4. 4. Constant Bad Mood

    No one likes a Negative Nelly, especially if they have to date one. If you or your partner find yourselves constantly angry or upset when you are together, perhaps you aren’t meant to be. This one is definitely a sign that you should communicate more. However, if that won’t work…BREAK IT OFF because your happiness needs to come first.

  5. 5. Lack of Interest

    This is super self-explanatory, but if your significant other is constantly rolling their eyes and huffing at everything you say, it is NOT a good sign. A good partner is able to be interested in kind when listening to your thoughts and feelings.

  6. 6. Poor Communication

    Does your partner ignore you for days? Maybe they huff and roll their eyes when you bring up issues? I am here to let you know that is totally not okay! If you can’t communicate, you definitely should not date.

  7. 7. No Negotiations

    You should never have to completely abandon your beliefs and ideas because a partner won’t negotiate. A huge part of being in a relationship is recognizing that you won’t always agree on everything, so sometimes compromising is key!

  8. 8. The People Close to You Are NOT a Fan

    I am the world’s biggest believer in “Mama knows best.” I swear my mom can sniff out the good ones like nobody’s business! I know that if my mom doesn’t like a guy, I bring home, he’s definitely not the one for me. Be mindful of who your friends and family are weary of. They almost always have a completely unbiased, unfiltered point of view on the person and can probably notice flaws better than you. 

  9. 9. Lying

    This one is, in my opinion, the most important one!! As I already stated, trust is the foundation of every good relationship. If your partner is constantly lying about little, random things- you NEED to be worried. Imagine this: 

    You live with your boyfriend, and he finished the box of cereal. You go to get some, and oh no! All out. Of course, you ask your man if he finished it (which duh of course he did). He tells you NO!

    While this is a super simple example, but if a partner can lie about eating all the cereal, what else can they lie to you about?

  10. 10. Never Apologizes

    If your partner is unable to say “I’m sorry,” you are in for a heap of trouble. Ultimately, people who never apologize are also the first people to hold grudges. You deserve a person who will understand when they are in the wrong and do what is right when necessary. Every time you argue or have problems, you should be apologizing to each other. It is truly the best way to make sure you never sleep angry.

With the rose-tinted glasses of a new relationship, it can be so hard to see red flags, but it is SO important that you do. Make sure you are finding a partner who is good for you and your mental/physical health, rather than settling for someone who is draining to your heart. You are reading this, so I know you can read the bad signs. Ultimately, just make yourself conscious of red flags and be prepared to deal with them if you see them in a partner.