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Why I oppose being in a serious relationship in college

I understand why being in a committed relationship is great and all, but I highly discourage being in a partnership whilst in college. As the old truism goes, college is all about finding yourself and experiencing new things that you are otherwise unable to when you are older.

And I fully believe in that sentence. Not only are you not tied down to the responsibilities of being in a relationship, you can direct that energy towards someone way more important: yourself. Be in a relationship with yourself! There is an inexplicable joy in doing awesome things by yourself, and essentially, knowing what makes you happy. I took a spontaneous 11-hour bus trip to Montréal last year as a sophomore in college during our Thanksgiving break by myself, and it was one of my best memories I have. I AirBnB’ed a location on the French side of Montréal and it was beautiful—being immersed in a country and culture filled with foreign strangers. I learned more about myself on that trip—and I met some of the coolest people I know, to date. 

Some may argue, “but with being in a relationship, we are still able to do cool things like that, and it is even better, because we are able to experience it with someone we love.”  Fair statement, but there’s the danger in believing that you are going to love this person forever. For most cases, unless you are a junior/senior, you are still unable to legally drink. Also, you just figured out what preliminary major you are going to focus your educational career in. Your path will change, and with that change comes personal change. So why not focus this wasted time and energy in bettering yourself, and having fun and engaging in meaningful relationship with like-minded peers and professors. If there lies a deep chemistry between you and another person, if that person respects you and likes you enough, they would understand and would wait until you both are the people you want to be. You are still growing, mentally, physically and emotionally. Don’t let your memories of your college years be that of heartbreak and drama. Drama is never fun, and break-ups are one of the worst possible feelings. Instead, have college memories of laughing, genuinely spending time with life-long friends, doing things you would have never imagined yourself doing, learning amazing things, and engaging in activities that you love. 

Do not become trapped in this mindset that you need to be in a relationship in order to be happy. Learn to be happy with yourself and by yourself, first. Travel, learn, get to know and love others, and love yourself. I highly encourage it.

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