Whether you’re trying to lose a stage-five clinger or you’re single and hoping for a relationship, here’s 16 easy ways to lose a guy:
1. Lie to him about a significant other.
Taking points: you’re either in a relationship and deeply in love or out of a relationship and still deeply in love.
2. Ruin the things he likes.
If he likes sports, ruin it. For example, ask to join his fantasy football league and tell him you’re picking players by how cute they are.
3. Tell him you need a tampon.
Bonus points if you ask him to go to CVS for you to buy them.
4. Nag him about EVERYTHING.
Tell him that he needs to be more mature. Be the monkey he can’t get off his back.
5. Talk about what your future kids would look like.
Bonus points here if you can digitally create a picture of said future baby.
6. Be extremely needy.
Blow up his phone whenever possible and ask him to connect with you on Find My Friends so that you always know where he is.
7. Ask for his calendar for the next 6 months so that you can plan a weekend trip together.
Make it elaborate and expensive.
8. Ask for his Facebook password.
Tell him it will make it easier to creep on his ex-girlfriends.
9. Hate on his friends.
Guys are pretty loyal to their boys. Try to have him pick his bestfriend over you.
10. Tell him you don’t need him.
Straight up: You’re a strong independent woman who don’t need (or want) no man.
11. Ask him to define the relationship.
Tell him that you’re looking to get married pronto because all your high school classmates are posting engagement photos.
12. Cry about everything and every guy you’ve ever known.
Key to success: wear a lot of eye makeup for this.
13. Ask him to meet your family.
Tell him that your grandmother is DYING to meet him. Get the whole family on team.
14. Leave him alone for a few minutes with your best friend.
If you can’t shake him, she probably can.
16. Go out to dinner with him and don’t eat your meal.
Tell him you’re going to take it to-go and eat it later because you can’t eat in front of guys.