Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
timon studler BIk2ANMmNz4 unsplash?width=719&height=464&fit=crop&auto=webp
timon studler BIk2ANMmNz4 unsplash?width=398&height=256&fit=crop&auto=webp
/ Unsplash
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Babson chapter.

Have you ever noticed the difference that receiving a compliment makes in someone’s mood? Even more than their mood, a compliment can change a person’s day. I like complimenting people. I like the way I can make their day better by just using a couple honest and kind words. It is interesting the effect something so simple as “I like your hair”, or “Nice shirt!”,  or “I heard you singing the other day and oh wow, I loved it”, can have in brighten up what could have a monotonous or even terrible day.

I am no scholar or professional in the psychology of compliments, but I believe that the reason why compliments can have such an enormously positive effect is the way society mistreats us. I think it is completely absurd the standards to which people, mainly women are held against. We see those gorgeous women all the time in the media; they have no pimples, no stretch marks, no broken or undone nails, no frizz in the hair, not a SINGLE BODY HAIR (what the heck?!), no cellulite, no ugly stay at home clothes (because all of us have those), and no body fat. They seem to have perfect hair, perfect body, perfect skin, perfect clothes—and they just seem because Photoshop gets more intense and more detailed every year.

Pause to appreciate all the movements that have been raising towards body positivity and appreciation of uniqueness.

Back to it, here we are, without any Instagram filters but only the filter of reality, full of perfect imperfections, trying to fit unrealistic standards… and why? Because that’s the way we were told to be, that is how we were raised! Our mothers and grandmothers and probably the women before them had also standards they ‘had’ to follow. So, overall, we have accustomed to not be good enough. It is sad if we think about why a compliment can make so much difference for someone. A compliment represents much more than a couple words: it represents validation. You are good enough! You are pretty, you are good with all the things you think you are not. About what society tries to tell you? F**K them. Create your own standards and remember that it is more than okay if you wake up with that crazy hair, or a pimple just appeared on your forehead and you don’t feel 100%. We all have those days. Girl, without bad hair days, good hair days would not exist. Same applies to everything else.

Anyways, I believe that feeling self-confident and good about yourself is important, but I also want to help those around me, mainly the women around me. It all starts with things as simple as giving out compliments. I have been trying to give out more compliments. But do not mistake giving out more compliments with being fake. For it to work, you got to be genuine. There is no point in saying “Your dress is so pretty” if you think totally the opposite. Compliment what you actually appreciate or like. When I compliment a girl, and I see her surprise in hearing something nice and her smile popping in her face, my heart warms up as well. I made my day better because I contributed to making someone’s day better as well. And you know what is even better when the reverse occurs and someone compliments me, with the most apparently silly things, it actually changes my day, and no matter how stressed I am, I get this energy inside of me that says “You can do this, you are good enough!”.

A side note: if you believe someone doesn’t like you, or if they are being bitches with you, compliment them. It may be hard, but it also may be surprised how you can change the way they treat you. And if they don’t, you haven’t lost anything.