Like many of my peers, I felt myself being corralled like cattle into a forced intermingling of fellow freshman in a hot, sticky, and sweaty gymnasium. More than the heat, I was made most uncomfortable by this sort of forced interaction. “I am more than capable of making friends on my own,” was the belief I stubbornly clung to. We played silly name games, which seemed to strip me of my identity as an adult and force me back into childish ways. The irony of the matter is that within an instant, that instant where you walk across that stage in a ceremony that serves to culminate your whole educational upbringing, society expects you to “become” an adult, to make this worldly transition. Yet, the first week on campus so-called “welcome week,” is one in which they expect you to act like a child before they fully release the reins that you have been choking on your entire life. While I am a natural fan of irony, it took me some time to come around to this idea of forced social interaction, but five weeks later, I am immensely happy that I opened my mind and my arms to some of the best friends I could have ever asked for.
Ever since I was little, I have not taken well to being told that somebody else can do something better than I can, or even worse, that I am wrong in the matter at hand. Hence why in hindsight it is not surprising that I was so apprehensive to do these activities that I had quickly deemed not worth my time. However, as most college students can attest to, it is harder than usual to get to know people when that is what is expected of you. As I began to feel frustrated with the lack of connections I was making on my own, I turned back to those people I had been paired with, to find out that our group was formed under the commonality of the honors class we were all taking together. As much as it pains me to admit, it turns out that Augustana College knew who my people were before I did.
But of course, I don’t expect you to simply take my word for it. After all, I could have simply been lucky, right? Well, Jeff McNally, PhD candidate at McMaster University claims, “The data that we’ve collected from our study show that universities can help foster a high emotional commitment between students and their specific university. That level of high emotional commitment drastically affects how they act as students, and quite likely as alumni.” McNally thus has a firm belief in welcome week activities as they establish this strong emotional connection from the moment you step foot on campus. After all, if somebody told you that if you simply followed their instructions for a week that you would be less likely to drop out of college and more likely to have a job landed before you graduate, you would do it right? I at least know that the person paying your college tuition would make certain that you did!
As cheesy as it sounds, a pre-organized activity can really find you your best friend, and there is nothing wrong with that. Thinking that you are “too cool for school” and ditching these planned events is only doing yourself a disservice; there is no need to force friendship, but being placed in a group helps alleviate those massive pressures of fitting in, thus allowing you to make real connections with those before you. I know it is tempting to stay in your room to avoid the awkwardness of forced social situations, but the good news is, you won’t be the only one feeling awkward and the best friends are those that you can be awkward with. Might as well test the waters right away. So here’s a thank you to Gill, Megan, Abby, and Alli for sticking around past the awkwardness and showing me why that first week was the furthest thing from “stupid,” and even more importantly, for helping me be able to encourage others to give it a shot too. I promise it’s worth it.