We’ve all been there. We’ve all made a mistake that we deeply regret and believe it will hang over our heads forever. I know that I have made plenty of mistakes by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time or completely misreading a situation. When I watch TV and the characters make an error in judgment, I can honestly say that I have done something of the like at one point in my life.
I have no doubt that when I was younger I made a lot of errors because I was optimistic and hopeful for the best. I can still remember when I would misplace my trust in some people, but I have blocked those memories without my knowledge. The only way I know about them is from my parents when they recalled me being miserable over it. I used to be friends with my neighbor’s daughter and we would hang out sometimes. As we grew up though, it was clear that she didn’t want to be a friend to me anymore. It finally hit me that we weren’t going to be friends during the winter when the snow made it perfect for sledding.
This was one of the memories that I blocked that my parents told me about, though I wish I remembered it. I’m not sure what age I was, but I was still young enough to be sledding and having the best time of my life. My “friend” and another girl I was familiar with were outside sledding and enjoying themselves, so I decided to go outside and have some fun too. However, when I went outside, they decided to run away from me. At the time, I probably thought that it had nothing to do with me, so I played then went inside. After a while, I saw that they were back outside, so I decided to try and join them, but the results were the same. Every time I tried to join them they would run away from me.
I felt like an idiot and didn’t want to be her friend anymore. The good thing out of it was that I connected more with another neighbor’s daughter and was incredibly close with her. She is still my closest friend today and the other girl I thought was my friend realized her mistake a bit too late. She tried to rekindle some bonds, except mine which really showed me who she was, but got burned because she was awful to them when she was younger.
I’m not trying to say that she got what she deserved or that you should try to get revenge on someone, but that you aren’t alone in making mistakes. From the little stuff to the big stuff, those mistakes help shape who you are as a person. I’m glad that we stopped being close because it meant that I didn’t have to feel like crap when she would be mean to me and I made new friends that treated me a lot better.
I still have not stopped making mistakes and I’m not even close to being a perfect person, but I know that through time, they will only be memories of the past that barely anyone remembers. Late at night, I would remember some stupid things I have done, but then I think does anyone even remember or care? and I don’t think they do. Like my mom always says, “In a couple of years from now, you won’t think it is as important as it is in this moment.”