Coined by Gary Chapman in 1992, the love languages are comprised of five categories that broadly describe how a person gives/wants to receive affection. Knowing the love language of a partner can help someone decide the best way to make them feel loved and appreciated.
- Words of Affirmation
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This includes lots of compliments and “I love you’s”. Let your partner know your appreciation by telling them how much they mean to you, how proud you are of their accomplishments, how they’re smart, attractive, caring, or funny. People with this love language like to directly hear how you care for them, and negative comments can be very hurtful. A lack of affirmations can make them wonder if something is wrong.
- Acts of Service
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This love language involves one partner doing favors for the other to show their affection. This can range from doing chores, like vacuuming or washing dishes, to making dinner. Acts of Service relies on a person’s actions showing how much they value another person. Little spontaneous things often work best, though it varies from person to person.
- Receiving Gifts
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It might sound materialistic, but it shouldn’t be. This love language works best when what’s being purchased has personal or sentimental value. It’s not buying things just to buy them. (A personal example is when a past boyfriend of mine got me a Rob Zombie/Marilyn Manson Twins of Evil concert T-shirt at the show. I have plenty of shirts, but this one is special).
- Quality Time
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Planned, personal dates are the way to go with this one. People who like quality time tend to feel bad when dates are canceled or when their partner is distracted by something else. It’s important to make the time count and respect that dates are a time for you and your partner to enjoy each other’s company.
- Physical Touch
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People with this love language enjoy intimacy. Without it, they feel neglected or distant from who they love. While sex can be a big part of this, more often it’s little intimacies like hugs, kisses, or holding hands that make the biggest impact.
It’s good to understand the basic love languages, but they aren’t all-encompassing. Some people have more than one language. With that said, Happy Valentine’s Day! I have a date at Starbucks that I might be running late to. (It’s with a latte.)
