This year I made it a goal to try and read at least one book a month and I figured what is a more fitting book to read for February, a month full of love, then Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton.
This popular memoir focuses on Dolly Alderton’s experiences and lessons learned throughout her relationships, time alone, and, I believe most importantly, her friendships. Throughout the 368 pages of text, Alderton uses not only personal stories but also lists, recipes, and jokes to convey the comedic yet heart-tugging message of love to her wide audience of readers. She often uses humor to recall her time in college or the nights she spent out on the town but also gives us some of the most emotionally raw writing on love and appreciation for her closest friends.
As a 20-year-old currently experiencing the midst of college, I wasn’t expecting to relate to Alderton’s writing. Honestly, I picked up the book on a random Target run, as I had been influenced by TikTok to read it for my monthly read. But as soon as I read the first chapter, I knew this was going to be a book I filled with scribbled notes and color-coded highlights. The book is set up in chronological order, following Dolly Alderton’s journey from college all the way through her 20s. Instead of summarizing the book and trying to back up my claim of excellence for this book, I will briefly mention some of my favorite and most impactful moments throughout.
One of my favorite lines of the entire book can be found near the end on page 314. Alderton states, “Nearly everything I know about love, I’ve learned from my long-term friendships with women.” As a young woman in college, I feel like this has been the most thought-provoking quote from the whole book. I value my friends more than anything in the world. They are by my side at any hour of the day, for whatever I might need. Whether it is a quick lunch at the dining hall, a movie night on a random day of the week, or even a study partner for an upcoming quiz, they never fail to be my biggest supporters. In college, you are faced with a whole new environment of new people, commonly making it seem like a whole different world. After finding my group of girls, being away at school has never felt tolling. My friends have created a long-lasting home for me, a place full of endless love and support. They have taught me the unconditional love everyone deserves. This idea of unconditional love can be seen as she describes that even when her life gets jumbled and unclear, her best friends are right there with her. Lastly, I would like to applaud Alderton for putting this quote in the book as I think it is a perfect way to describe the love of a friendship: “She knows where to find everything in me and I know where all her stuff is too. She is, in short, my best friend.” Friends know everything about you, even when you sometimes wish they didn’t. They know when you are down and what to do to make your day even just slightly better. It’s like they can read your mind.
The book also highly praises ideas of self-love. Alderton provides her readers with a motto to live by when she says, “You are the sum total of everything that has happened to you.” She argues that you are who you are, even with the bad experiences you have had in your life. That you are enough and that no characteristic of yourself will ever cause you to not be enough. She even touches on how she has learned to never let any man, or society in general, skew her confidence in herself.
If you need a break from studying, or if you are also trying to reach a reading goal this year, I urge you to take out your colored pens, markers, and maybe even a box of tissues, just in case, and start reading this memoir. This book has taught me just how lucky I am to have friends similar, and even better than, in my biased opinion, Alderton’s. A group of girls who will see me at my very highest and still love me just as much at my lowest. Besides her amazing focus on friendships, I strongly suggest you take time to read this book for the equally strong message on self-love during an ever-changing period of your life. Thank you, Dolly Alderton, for making me realize this, and thank you to my friends for being the most beautiful people to exist.