It’s no secret that the dating world is one heck of a roller-coaster. Society’s obsession with finding love is prominent all-over popular culture. From obsessing over dating apps to having The Bachelor/The Bachelorette watch-parties with friends, love is practically shoved down our throats.
As someone has been in a monogamous relationship for 2+ years, I’ve learned quite a bit about the inner-workings of a successful and loving relationship. If it wasn’t obvious enough already, the relationships displayed on popular tv shows and movies are not the best examples of a healthy relationship. And yes, even your favorite on screen “ship” probably isn’t a good example either.
So, here are some of my best tips on how to maintain a healthy loving relationship.
1. Communication – This one’s probably obvious, but you’d be surprised by how many couples fail to maintain healthy communication. When expressing your concerns with your partner using more “I feel” statements over accusations or direct blame is way more effective. And simply not being afraid to speak up about how you feel, as well as constantly checking up on how your partner feels is key to a good foundation.
2. Learning each other’s similarities – It’s pretty clear that in order to be compatible you have to have similar interests as your partner. However, really finding out where you and your partner strongly align with your beliefs and interests and then bonding over these connections is essential. Without understanding these similarities, you lose sight in fully understanding how compatible you really are with your partner. Knowing these similarities helps when you feel even an inch of doubt in your relationship or are feeling upset at your partner.
3. Learning each other’s differences – While bonding over common interests is important, learning each other differences is just as important, if not more important. Recognizing your differences allows you to fully analyze if these differences are worth staying with your partner. While different superficial interests can bring fun and adventure as you get to explore different activities, foods, etc. that your partner enjoys that you otherwise haven’t explored yet, different beliefs may bring doubt in the relationship. Learning why you and your partner have differences in beliefs and why helps you better understand your partner, for better or for worse.
4. Learning your partner’s love language – Different people have different relationship needs. Some prefer more verbal expressions of love, some more physical expressions, etc. Some people want more time together, others want more space in their relationship. People are nuanced and want different things, so just learn their love language and be patient if your lover is also getting used to your love language as well.
5. Making time for each other – As college students we’re all crazy busy! However, trying to make even just the smallest amount of time to spend together during your busier weeks is a huge difference. Then, when you have your less busy weeks, you can spend even more time together to make up for all the rough weeks. If you feel you and your partner spend too much time together, or not enough, don’t forget to refer back to tip #1 and communicate!
Overall, if you follow these 5 main tips you’ll have a good foundation for a long healthy relationship.