Everyone has heard the phrase, “New year, New me.” And for 2018, I don’t think it could be any more true.
2017 was one of the greatest and most difficult years of my life. I learned that everything and every situation is temporary. Feelings, moments, people and most of all, love. All are a sort of temporary madness. This past year was a year full of these temporary things that included a lot of inner pain and heartbreak that I chose not to display outwardly for the sake of trying to live my life to the fullest. In short, a year of hurting so bad, but living so good.
There are a few pro tips that I have had arise out of this and can definitely be of use to anyone who feels that they relate to this.
1. Feelings come and go.
Feelings of love, anger, happiness, disappointment, sadness, etc. overcome our hearts and minds in the temporary moments we live. Your heart and your mind are never truly in sync. However, your heart is capable of fixing itself, so your mind is what you should worry about. Our minds are filled with memories, good and bad, that we tuck away and come to play when we lay in bed at night staring at the ceiling. This is where I overthink every situation that I have going on in my life and I have come to learn that we never should make permanent decisions based off of temporary feelings. We have a plan laid out for us from someone much bigger and better than us, and we must place our trust in Him to guide us.
2. Live in the moment, they aren’t going to last forever.
Every moment is temporary. When things are good, enjoy it to your greatest capacity. When they’re not so good, know that better days are on the way and you will make it through. You have to stop believing that you’ll be stuck in the not so good moment forever. Although you may feel like your heart will never heal or that your mind will never stop dwelling on the issue, everything has an expiration date. At some point, we have to pause and realize that we need to stop chasing something we won’t ever be able to get to, because by the time we think we’re there, it’ll be gone. It will all get better with time.
3. Temporary people give permanent lessons.
I’ve noticed through the years that I search for a forever in people that are meant to be temporary. Not everything and everyone are supposed to become so beautiful and long-lasting. More often than not, people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to teach you how to love yourself, to show you your potential and teach us lessons on loyalty. Not everyone will stay forever, things happen that go beyond your control. However, we still have to keep on chugging along and be thankful for what they’ve give us because they showed us what we need in life.
4. Love is a temporary madness.
The only way I know how to explain how this makes sense is to quote Louis de Bernières. He beautifully states that, “Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.” Through reading this over and over, I learned that love is about giving your all and if it all doesn’t work out, you let it hurt. And it may hurt for some time, days, months, years. But, that is all temporary. Plus, there’s nothing a good carton of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream can’t fix. And even better, the comfort of your mom or dad’s arms, because a simple hug helps the hurt fade away. I promise you it will get better.