Step 1: Know that It’s Okay to Fly Solo
First of all, you do not need a guy to have a great Valentine’s Day. (Girl Code). You have fun with your friends every other Friday night, right?
If you do have a guy in mind, here’s a quick test to see if you should go out with him on Valentine’s Day:
Question 1: Have you ever kissed him before? Answer: If YES, go out with him on Valentine’s. If NO, proceed to Question 2.
Question 2: How long have you been in steadily texting/contacting this guy? Answer: If BETWEEN TWO MONTHS AND TWO WEEKS, go out with him on Valentine’s, but know that it may still be slightly awkward. If longer, why hasn’t he asked you out until Valentine’s Day? If shorter, won’t that be seriously uncomfortable? Either way, if you don’t know him well enough, it’s just going to be Awkward City, perhaps even Creep Street, and you might want to consider staying solo this year.
If the guy you had in mind just failed the Q&A (or if you never had one in mind at all), hang out with other single girlfriends. You could have a stay-in movie night, do the standard favorite of hitting the bars, or even do something you’ve never tried like rock climbing. Beware: if you go out don’t hook up with a guy just because you feel lonely. Creeps will be out scouting for lonely singles, so don’t forget: a Valentine’s hookup should be at least a sober 9.
Step 2: Evaluate Your Expectations
Is your guy the doting type, the type of ladies’ man that you will go all-out for Valentine’s Day? Or is he convinced that February 14 is just another day corrupted by commercial America? Hopefully you know your guy well enough to answer this. Whatever he feels about the cheesy day where clashing warm color tones are suddenly acceptable, you need to respect his personality and not push him in either direction.
If he thinks Valentine’s was probably concocted by the Flowers and Chocolate Sellers Guild of America, or if he’s a steady cheapskate, don’t start dropping hints that you want a special romantic night. If the teddy bears and candy are really that important to you (which is perfectly okay), you may want to reevaluate your relationship with this guy. There is a less-disappointing guy out there who will love doing gentlemanly gestures for his girl.
If he usually spends money on you, and you secretly really enjoy that, don’t feel compelled to say, “Oh, Valentine’s is just another day,” in order to seem “down-to-earth” or “laid-back.” If you put down a holiday you actually can’t wait for, you may make him second-guess his over-the-top plans and cancel the horse-drawn carriage that he’d scheduled to pick you up.
Whatever guy you’ve agreed to go out with, keep your expectations for the night realistic so you won’t be disappointed. If he still disappoints, feel free to dump him in a week.
Step 3: Know (Ahead of Time) How You’ll End the Night
The girl sets the tone for the evening. This is important. You need to clearly establish how far this is going to go.
If you are not ready to hook up with your guy at the end of the night, you should not feel obligated because it’s Valentine’s Day. Don’t feel like you have to do stuff with him because he spent money on you. He’s not your sugar daddy, and if he expected too much in the sexual department he can get over himself. Also, don’t dress too sexy just because you feel like you should. If you wear what makes you feel comfortable, you will likely give off an accurate vibe about what you want. Any guy worth keeping will respect you for sticking to your own personal standards.
Let’s say you can’t wait for Valentine’s Day-Night. Whether it’s your long-term boyfriend or the hot guy from your Chem class who you’ve been eyeing for the past month, you still set the tone. Remember, guys’ limits are way broader than girls think. Valentine’s is the night to try something crazy and new. If you’re feeling something different, don’t be afraid to buy some undergarments that will give him the hint, maybe something like thigh-high tights. If tried-and-true is more your thing, try a new lacy pink bra and panty set. Adoreme.com has a wide variety of cute lingerie on a college-girl budget.
Bottom line for the end of the night: Go in with a game plan and remember don’t compromise. You should never break your standards just to feel like a “good girlfriend.” The best night is you doing what you’re comfortable with.
Step 4: Keep Things in Perspective
A holiday devoted to love can be great, but, seriously, Valentine’s isn’t everything. Actually, it’s hardly anything at all. If it doesn’t go exactly as you had hoped, it’s one day and it’ll be over on Saturday. Sometimes our fantasy romance ideas can be deflated and leave us a bit depressed, but, remember, your mom wanted to buy you one of those chocolate boxes in the shape of a heart. Whether she did or not now that you’re in college, she definitely wanted to.
Ultimate fool-proofing: If your Valentine’s Day isn’t looking awesome, drag a girlfriend down to Gigi’s Cupcakes and be each others’ Valentine.
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