Chocolates, flowers, candy, couples and singles are what everyone’s talking about right now. But what about the people in “it’s complicated” relationships? For the women stuck in the eerie grey section, February 14th should be known as “Valentween’s Day” because they are in between a friendship and a commitment, which makes this holiday particularly tough.
For anyone single that is reading this, I know what you’re thinking… “Ugh, at least they sort of have somebody to share Valentines Day with.” This doesn’t mean it is easier; in fact, this type of situation can make things very awkward and even more complicated for people that are “just talking.” Should they celebrate the holiday? Do you exchange gifts? If you do exchange gifts, what’s expected? Will I scare him off if I want to recognize the day?
First-thing-first. STOP overthinking. You’re only making matters worse. Valentines Day is not just about what Hallmark has made it out to be. Sure, it is great for couples and it can be romantic. However, the whole day is based on this idea of love, correct? Well, you love your friends, right? Instead of putting so much focus on your guy, focus on your girlfriends. Especially the single ones!
Not only will your besties appreciate your time and effort, your dude will see that you are doing something cute for your friends, which means if you do something cute for him too, it’s not so serious. Otherwise, if you randomly come at him with a gift and he doesn’t have one for you in return, the following may occur: He will be incredibly thrown off, he may assume you want a relationship and freak out, or he’ll feel bad for not getting you something too.
How to avoid all of this? Don’t go overboard. On the other hand, just because you are not in a labeled relationship does not mean you can’t celebrate Valentines Day. Do people that aren’t Irish still celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? Of course they do, it is supposed to be fun, not stressful!
As for what to actually get this special someone? Do what your budget allows you to do; what you feel is right and what will put a smile on his face. If the two of you are strictly intimate then go that route. If you want more out of the relationship down the road or perhaps trying to have him look at you more than in an intimate way, do something cute for him. Again, this does not need to be an expensive gift or anything over the top.
Here are some ideas:
(This is all based on how well you know each other, how long you have talked and how comfortable you are with this person.)
*Bake him cookies and see if you can stop by his place. When you drop them off let him know you have to go deliver some more cookies to your girlfriends. This takes the pressure of the situation and he will still appreciate the yummy treat!
*If you want to spend time with him that night but do not want to make it feel like a date necessarily, ask if he and his friends want to meet up with you and your friends and go out! This way you can all have fun, yet you still have the reassurance that he is not out on a date with someone else.
*Make him a small goodie bag. Guys love goodies ;) Create a small gift bag with his favorite candy, a new game he wanted to buy and maybe something to stimulate some intimacy between you two.
*If you guys are basically dating and you have the confidence that he wants to be in a relationship with you, then make him dinner and have a night in together. This way, you are not trying to be seen together publicly yet but you are making a step closer in the right direction.
Last but not least, HAVE FUN! Whatever you decide to do, just remember that if he is supposed to be the right guy for you at some point, it’ll happen on it’s own time. Don’t force anything and follow your gut. Oh and never rely on a guy to get you flowers for Valentines Day unless you’re in a full-blown relationship. If you want flowers that bad, go to the store and pick yourself out the most beautiful bouquet there is, you deserve it!