All that I can remember during major holidays, like Thanksgiving and Christmas, is the stress my brother and I feel regarding which side of the family we are going to visit. If you have ever felt the same way, chances are, you come from a divorced family. When I was nine years old, my mom moved to Chicago and my brother and I visited her only once a month for nine years before he graduated from high school and I had the chance to move in with her. Typically, my brother and I spent major holidays with our mom because we lived with our dad most of the year. Because of this, we always celebrated with her side of the family and saw my dad’s side for soccer games, marching band performances, and even flute recitals. I’ll always have a soft spot for our extended family on my mom’s side because they have taken good care of her for a number of years.
During the holidays, my brother and I are usually stressed studying for finals, making Christmas lists, and working tirelessly to finish our semesters strong, just like our teachers want us to. Too many times our parents have given us the ultimatum of choosing which parent we would like to see during the holidays, and as the indecisive kids we were growing up, you can imagine the stress our parents felt as they tried to accommodate everyone and their plans. If we chose one over the other, it would always end in the fear of disappointing the other parent and cancelling the family plans they’d made which involved us.
When I was old enough to work, I got a job working in retail on Black Friday (which, as we all know, can be a nightmare). By this time, I was living with my mom in Chicago. Because of my work schedule, I’d often have to leave our family celebrations early to work on Thanksgiving night. Time and a half pay and helping the co-workers that were celebrating with family out of state was something I always enjoyed. Who doesn’t like a little extra money in their pocket?
This work schedule ultimately made some of my family feel let down because it seemed like I was always choosing work over celebrating, even though I would explain to them that I was doing it to help my managers, fellow co-workers, and gain valuable experience. Eventually, everyone understood what I was doing was not meant to hurt or damage anyone, but to help myself and those around me.
All in all, we were able to celebrate one way or another. Whether we were able to talk to each other on the phone, FaceTime, or even mailed each other cards with money to let everyone know we are thinking of them during the holidays, no one is forgotten. No matter the distance.