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Sex + Relationships

Single Life Series: Friends Who Go MIA When They’re Taken

One of the greatest feelings in the world is when your friend starts dating a great guy and he treats her like the princess that she is. But that sweet taste can turn a little bitter when your friend basically falls off the face of the earth.

I am the ultimate hopeless romantic. Seeing old couples laughing in a booth, a cute little kindergartener blushing over their first crush and everything in between makes me feel all giddy inside. But what I am not a fan of is ditching your friends to focus on your relationship 24/7. I’m not talking about dedicating time for just you and your significant other, which is healthy, but I’m talking about the friend that is so invested in their relationship that they’re basically off the grid.

All relationships, whether they are romantic, platonic, etc. need attention and time to continue to grow.

I have had my fair share of friends start new relationships over the years, and I knew in the beginning they were going to dedicate a majority of their time to maintaining their relationship and put ours on the back burner. This is what I call the puppy love phase, where you want to be with them all the time because it’s new and exciting. During that phase I give my friends a free pass to get to know their new partner better. After a while, if they are still their number one priority, then I put in my two cents.

If you can relate to anything I’ve mentioned above and you want to talk to your friend about the ways in which their new relationship is impacting your friendship, here’s a couple tips on how to go about it:

  1. Make plans – don’t forget to keep checking in because it’s a two way street. You can’t get mad if you don’t reach out.
  2. Put yourself in their shoes – try and understand where they are coming from before you talk to them about it.
  3. Get to know their SO – it’s important to meet and interact with your friends’ significant others because they are a big part of their life now.
  4. Don’t accuse! When you’re upset it can be easy to blame them for how you feel, but that could come off rude instead of seeming like the sincere and concerned friend you are
  5. Know what you’re saying – if your friend starts to take offense, remind her that you’re having this conversation because she’s been a good friend to you and you want her around

In the end SOs come and go, but if this one makes your friend happy and treats them right, you should try and get to know their partner, because there’s nothing better than supporting the good girlfriends you make in life!

Daria is an Arizona State University graduate with a degree in Journalism & Mass Communication from the Walter Cronkite School. She was the Chapter Leader of Her Campus at ASU from fall 2018 to spring 2021 and is excited to start the next chapter of her life.
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