Old Habits Die Hard But They Do Die

I have lots of bad habits, and I mean lots. I honestly don’t know how I’m still functioning at this point, yet here I am. Stressful and overwhelmed but here. However, that’s the problem—I’m chillin with this existence of everyday stress that to no shocker, continues to survive as we learn to live in isolation.

It sucks cause you would think online classes would make it easier now that I don’t have an excuse to forget to eat (seriously horrible habit) but I still do. What a heck! The refrigerator is only a few feet away from my reach yet I still somehow screw myself over. I find myself having class at 4 that lasts till 6 yet still decide to starve until 7 or 8 because of the assignments I’m left with that I just have to finish. Clearly, old habits die hard.

I have always had this need to finish everything the same day and jeez, no matter where I am, I get stuck in this madness. Anxiety really doesn’t discriminate. Whether it’s in school or back at home, it still worms its way into my brain to keep me in a stress cycle. Damn little bugger spoiled home for me.

Now, with two weeks left of school, it doesn’t sound too bad to keep to this habit since it'll die down at least a little over the summer but let’s be honest, it’ll start right back up the minute I’m back into the lovely world of education. So is there a permanent fix for this? Honestly, I’m not sure.

That’s the thing about habits, they start to become embedded into your everyday routine and well we don’t like change as is soooo breaking such a repetitive comfort can be just a little difficult (lies—it takes a lot). All my brain cells are focused on homework right now so I don’t really have too much time to be changing anything too crazy. But I am open to start breaking these habits little by little.

I can start setting  alarms, making lists, scheduling free time to slowly get my health back on track. I can’t let this impending feeling of doom rain over me for the rest of my life (I mean I can but let’s not). I have to remember, I’m okay. I have time, there is always time and if not then just focus on your breaths. There is always one more moment to take a breath so why isn’t there a moment more to solve something?

Today my sister actually told me that her own mentality of stress decreased over time because she kept telling herself this one thing—-if there’s a solution, fix it, if not, move on. Of course, it’s always easier to say rather than actually follow advice so to no surprise, it took her years to actually get to that level. We all gotta start somewhere, right?

Sometimes it takes a little more whether it’s through mental health professionals or incorporating other habits like exercise to keep the mind healthy but it’s possible. Old habits do die hard but they do die eventually.