I was fortunate enough to attend college 20 miles from my house and have the ability to make it home for anything, from football Sunday’s to family birthday dinners. Now that I live across the country from my family, I face the struggle that many students face of having to decide between returning home for Thanksgiving or winter break.
I am very happy that I am able to go home for both holidays this year and cherish the time with my family even more now that I don’t have it very often. However, the imminent holiday season compounded by the ever-present political climate reminds me of the challenges many of us face when reuniting with the people we love. One of my favorite Saturday Night Live sketches, A Thanksgiving Miracle, parodies this familiar situation with a family who’s only able to come together and surpass aggressive disagreements through Adele’s song, Hello.
Unfortunately, Adele can only do so much to save our relationships and holidays. The simple answer to this problem is to avoid controversial conversations entirely, but this is very unrealistic. With social media empowering everyone to project their opinions and immediate news updates popping up on smartphone screens, it is inevitable that uncomfortable topics will be brought up. It can be very easy to take things personally when the people you love and respect have different fundamental values than you. However, choosing not to engage with people because you don’t agree with their views can adversely influence your judgement and ability to learn. Very recently, researchers published a study that suggests people are more likely to seek politically like-minded individuals for help or consultation in areas outside of politics, regardless of an individual’s expertise in that area. Thus, your network and support system can become very limited when politics become too divisive.
This holiday season, I encourage you to be engaged and keep an open mind. It can be tempting to uphold your opinions and attempt to persuade others to accept your beliefs. However, these kinds of conversations can quickly escalate and become hostile. Remember that people have had different experiences than you that have shaped their perspectives. While you may not agree with them, there is always room for you to grow by learning from others. The goal is not necessarily to find common ground, but in some cases, people just want to feel heard. Cancel culture has heightened how people react to things they don’t agree with, and it only divides us more without leaving room to learn. Recently during the Obama Foundation Summit in Chicago, former president Barack Obama said, “That’s not activism, that’s not bringing about change. If all you’re doing is casting stones, you’re probably not going to get that far.” Keep that in mind as you navigate these conversations and decide when and how you want to share your views. Remember what is most important at the end of the day and enjoy your time with family and friends.