Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at ASU chapter.

Creating a strong relationship with another person takes a lot of time and effort, but believe me it’s worth it. But, as most people know, the best relationship you’ll have won’t be the first to come to you. I dated three guys before I found my perfect match. Trial and error is the easiest and best way to figure out what you want, what you need in a relationship and what you simply can’t stand. Here are my love discovery tips:

From each relationship, you can find something to learn.

Whether that be that you need someone who is as hyperactive as you or if you want someone who balances you out. For myself, I learned that I needed someone to balance me out. Someone to keep me patient when I am not. Someone to bring me down when anxiety runs high. Learning something from each relationship helps you make the next one better.

Be straight up.

Everyone hates lying, so why do it? Being straightforward with your significant other or future partners, can prevent so many misunderstandings that lead to arguments. Honesty allows for complete transparency which leads to a deeper understanding of one another and helps build trust. Although being straight up can sometimes be harsh, it’s crucial to ensure the happiness of both people and in the end, the success of the two together. 

Respect yourself.

So many times girls forget to look out for themselves because of the instinct to care for other people. Know your worth and expectations so  hold them high. Never let anyone walk over you and think that cutting corners is okay. Personally, I can attest to being walked over because I allowed it to happen. Saying no to sex or disagreeing is totally normal. Neither party is allowed to pressure or decide for you. If they can’t handle your boundaries, they are cancelled.

Not every guy you date will be the one.

There are billions of people in this world and eventually you’ll find your perfect match. Don’t rush or worry about it. Finding love early isn’t always the best, just as finding love late isn’t always the worst. It’s all about finding your person and nurturing that relationship you share with them. Whether unfortunately or fortunately, life always works itself out. 

Holding nothing back.

If there is anything I can promise you, it’s that if you find your person the love you’ll craft with them will be uncomparable, only if you allow yourself to be open. I currently am in a relationship with someone who is the boy version of me. It’s crazy how similar you can be to others if you hold nothing back. Letting loose is the best way to live and if you find someone who you can do that with, stick with them.

Trial and error may suck when it comes to heartbreak, especially as they begin to add up.

Each relationship prepares you for the next one. The best thing you can do when the right person comes along, is to know what you desire from a relationship and what you need from your significant other. I went through two heartbreaks before I found the one. It sucked, but it is so fulfilling and satisfying to have found my person and to be able to create this strong bond resulting from  our past experiences. Be patient and stay positive.

Hi there! My names Alissan Speidel, I'm a journalism major and business minor at Arizona State University. I love writing, shopping, getting to know new people and finding new Netflix and Spotify gems.