Crushes, Rejection & Mixed Signals

It’s easy to read the signals a guy is sending, like in last week’s episode of Jane the Virgin. He could simply be asking you if you want to grab something to eat and you assume it’s a date, just like Jane thought.

It’s easy to misread situations when intentions aren’t clear. Some of us learn the hard way after being friend zoned, that mixed signals and maybes oftentimes mean no.

Crushes are confusing and it can be hard to decide what the next step is when you discover that you have feelings for someone.

If you’re honest and upfront you have the opportunity for either a new relationship or will face rejection. If you're lucky you fall in love and it all works out. But unfortunately, it doesn’t work out like that for everyone, and most of us know what it feels like to be rejected and feel a  little crushed.


It’s hard to understand why someone doesn’t feel the same way. It’s easy to see something differently than what it is in actuality and completely misinterpret a situation. Sometimes we just misread the signals and we wonder, what if? What if he does feel the same way about me?

We also overthink the simplest of texts. I was once friend zoned by a guy I really liked. He said that he wasn’t looking for a relationship and that he didn’t want to lead me on because he thinks I am, “the nicest person he has ever met.” This left me so confused because he was sending mixed signals that were interpreted as flirting by myself and my friends.

Who knows maybe he was flirting. Or maybe he changed his mind. Sometimes guys like you but they’re not ready to commit to a relationship, or they respect and value your friendship more than a potential relationship or fling.

Being friend zoned might just mean he doesn’t like you that way and he won’t ever see you in that light. That’s not a bad thing though because he might see you as a sister or close friend and there’s nothing wrong with that. Friendships with great guys are just as rewarding as potential relationships. There’s also fewer commitments and stress than what comes with being a couple.

Nonetheless, at first it’s always confusing when they reject you but say they still want to be friends. It also sucks when you really do like them and enjoy their company but have to continue as friends. It’s honestly the worst, because deep down the hope that you two someday could become a couple lingers. Your heart breaks a little each time you’re with them because you know there’s no chance as they’ve made it very clear.

People say that with time the feelings will fade but, in my opinion, the only way that those feelings go away is if you stop spending time with that person.

Taking a break from spending time with that person usually does the trick. Overall, the key to moving on is giving yourself time away from that person so you can focus on yourself. Who knows maybe when you’re not even looking for a relationship you might find Mr. Right.

Crushes and heartbreak are just a part of life as we learn, love, and grow. It’s okay to get rejected because at least the person respected you enough to be honest with you about their feelings and intentions. So don’t feel discouraged if things don’t end up working out.

And don't worry! There are plenty of guys out there and there’s no rush. Theresa Russo once told Alex Russo on the show The Wizards of Waverly Place, “Listen … you’re going to fall in love so many times before you find the one you’ll be with forever.”

Just enjoy college and the four years so you can make memories and have fun. You’ve got the rest of your life to find love, get married, have a family, and have a kickass career if you choose to. So don’t stress finding love!