Vulnerability is defined as “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.” Some people are more vulnerable than others, especially in relationships. If you’ve ever been hurt and are afraid of being hurt again, you might put up barriers so that no one can get close enough to harm you in the future. In this case, you fear vulnerability.
While it’s true that being vulnerable in a relationship can make you more susceptible to getting hurt, emotional walls won’t protect you either. Rather, these walls will only postpone the hurt you are trying to avoid. Maybe you’ve been cheated on, lied to, or betrayed by a former partner. Understandably, you don’t want that to happen to you again. Heartbreak isn’t easy. That’s why the idea of getting into a new relationship is so scary: there’s a possibility of something bad happening again.
Being closed off to someone is the same as being closed off to love. Perhaps you’ve poured your heart and soul into someone in the past, just for them to reject you. Rather than feel the pain of heartbreak again, this time you decide you want to be the one in control. Yet, in not letting anyone completely in, you can’t expect others to let you in. Closed-offness pushes people away. No matter what happened in your last relationship or how messy the breakup was, don’t drag this baggage into your new one. Not everyone will hurt you. A lack of emotional connection with others cannot establish trust and growth in a relationship.
You don’t have to let every single one of your guards down to start a healthy relationship. It’s okay to be skeptical of someone before you let them completely in. It is important, however, to be open-minded. You must let go of your past relationship if you want to move on with your future one. To truly get to know and love someone you must be vulnerable in your relationships.