So apparently there are three stages of romantic love, but of course I wouldn’t know that because I have been single my whole life(lol!) On a more serious note, I feel like I have been through some of these stages with a few of my crushes, but none were love (and anyway that’s another story). After doing some research and watching a few videos about this thing called love, I’ve learned love is a mixture of distinct phases aided by the release of a slew of different hormones. We may all be familiar with the feeling of butterflies in our stomach or the feeling that we’re on cloud nine, but the science of love explains much more. Let’s check it out!
The First Stage: Lust!
This stage can be a little scary because sometimes you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. After all, you don’t really know the person well enough yet to call it love. At this point, you probably only feel physically attracted to them. The foundation of this lust may be because you may like the way they look, walk, and talk, or maybe you just really like their personality. There’s a lot of desire in this stage: you either want to seduce them or be seduced by them. Both men and women become dominated by the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen which push their sex drives and mating tendencies.
The Second Stage: Infatuation
This is the stage in which you begin to see the world through rose-colored glasses and rainbows and puppies abound. You’re starting to obsess over your crush and want to see them 24/7 without a care for food or sleep. You overlook their flaws, get sweaty palms, and your heart palpitations increase. These feelings are created by neurotransmitters: norepinephrine and dopamine.
Dopamine: associated with motivation and the rewards center of the brain, making us feel as if we’re winning a prize when we stand next to our special person.
Norepinephrine: associated with adrenaline, cues heart racing and face flush, and can cause a loss of appetite
The Third Stage: Attachment
Finally, the stage of attachment begins and you start to see your person for who they truly are. This is where you begin to determine if they meet your idea of a long-term partner. In other words, this is the stage in which you decide to take the relationship or leave it. Of course if you find that this person is your other half, we enter a phase in which you cement your bond with them–a stage in which individuals are motivated to be together to complete parenting duties. The hormones that play a role here are oxytocin and vasopressin.
Oxytocin: released when you feel connected to someone by touch or eye contact
Vasopressin: released when you feel a long-term connection with someone and initiate commitment
If you’re experiencing any of these feelings, now you know all three stages of what it means to be romantically in love. I hope this has helped you learn more about yourself in this month of love. Personally, I feel pretty good about dominating and understanding these phases so that when the time comes, they don’t take me by surprise. In the meantime, I’m just going to wait for my romantic love! Happy Valentine’s Day my loves!
https://www.myvitawellness.com/3-stages-love-hormones/
https://www.psychmechanics.com/three-stages-of-love-lust-attraction/