You’re at a party, you spy the cutie across the room, make flirty eye contact and that random dude dancing moves to his right and you see he’s already talking to some chick.
You think to yourself, “That’s one goddamn ugly dress…no, no it’s not. She’s beautiful and I am jealous she might get to sleep with him tonight.” So you go to the kitchen to get a glass of nasty Arizona tap water because you’re dd and painfully underage. You turn around, lo and behold that sloppy, not sure if he’s drunk or just stupid, guy in a fedora status, John Doe is standing right behind you.
Unable to escape the wrath of small talk, he pushes his hair back (doesn’t he look sexy with his hair pushed back?)
Whatever will he say? Maybe, “Hello I’m ________, nice to meet you!” or “Wow this party is ______.” And if you’re as lucky as some of the girls at ASU you might get something along these lines:
The Top 9 Pick Up Lines used at ASU:
1. Your boobs.
Wait…I have Boobs? I didn’t notice that before. Thank you for the update, sir.
2. That a$$ tho.
Do people really think you’ll take this comment seriously?
3. Do you just wanna have sex?
Straight forward, to the point, but I’d rather not. Whats holding me back you ask? Oh maybe because I don’t know your name?
4. (While standing in line to order Taco Bell) Oh so you like Taco Bell too?
No, I hate Taco Bell thats why I’m ordering three Cheesy Gordita Crunches…?
5. Are you a beaver? ‘Cause DAYUM
Just..why?
6. I’ll let you make me a hot pocket.
Demeaning! How sweet, I didn’t know we were still in 1950!
7. Are you black?
KAREN, YOU CAN’T JUST ASK PEOPLE WHY THEY’RE BLACK.
8. DAAAAAMN GIRL
Thoroughly original….
9. Ayo lemmie holla atchu, lemmie getcha digits!
Many reasons this is my favorite, 1) What? 2) Who still says “Holla” and “Digits” in 2013? 3) This was said to me while waiting at a cross walk.
And once the bomb is dropped and you find the best possible way to say “No thank you.” You can say a sweet goodbye
Because after all, these cheesy pick up lines are creepily flattering.