I am not someone who is prone to being vulnerable, but I’ve noticed that I’m respected when I am.
Opening up myself to others and knocking down walls is something I’ve had to continuously teach myself–and I am almost twenty years old! I have experienced relationship after relationship where I’ve been hurt by the other person because they weren’t open with me. Little did I know, I was also causing them pain as I expressed a lot of the same guarded behaviors. For someone who took the Love Language Quiz (I know, right!) and was told that “words of affirmation” was my primary love-language, I sure as hell don’t open up enough for people to gift me said words of affirmation. I’m also a Capricorn, so being hard-working is just in my nature.
I get it, it’s terrifying to let someone see your imperfections. We are constantly working to impress our significant others and crushes; all we want is for them to like us. Whether we like it or not, being emotionally distant can be detrimental to the relationship itself, but to the other person as well. The emotional distance you are placing between yourself and your significant other is often very apparent and only serves to drive the other person away. Being vulnerable with your partner is a sign of a healthy and trusting relationship–and it goes both ways! There is nothing credible that says men who are emotionally available are “feminine”. Rather, their vulnerability shows just how much dedication they have to maintaining a committed, healthy relationship.
I know how difficult being vulnerable can be, especially after you’ve been hurt by someone. I understand just how important it is to keep yourself guarded at all times. But hiding your emotions from (yourself) and others is detrimental to your mental health.
Letting your walls down and allowing people to listen to your needs are not signs of weakness or oversensitivity. They’re a sign of your bravery in trusting someone enough to be able to be your unfiltered self.a