Horoscopes: By Arohi Sachar
It’s a Tuesday morning. You open the newspaper and go through the main headlines of the day. You flip a page and reach the horoscope column on the corner of the page. Your mind tells me not to read it. “How can they predict your day based on when you were born?” but your heart demands a quick glance. “It’s not like it would actually change anything.” but it does. Your day was allegedly going to be filled with problems and at night before sleeping you realise that, it was! Now if you didn’t read that leo column would things have changed? Probably not. But would the intensity and magnitude of the problems you would have faced throughout the day have changed? Definitely. This is based on a concept called ‘expectancy confirmation.’ which is the tendency to look for confirmation in previously held beliefs. When you know something is supposed to pertain to you, you would go try to make sure it does. So even if your day was not too bad, you would definitely feel like it was because it was intended to be. The same applies to a good day. Sometimes even reading horoscopes for ‘fun’ may feel like your days are being guided by a distant external factor rather than yourself. I think it’s important to realise that you’re the only one in charge of those 24 hours and you have the ability to make the most of it, even if your sun sign says otherwise.
Horoscope, yeah no: Akshali Gugle
Dear Horoscope videos that show up on Glance that I don’t know how to disable on my Redmi,
Why are you so generic?
I look at my horoscope everyday. I have to get past Parineeti Chopra’s Libra and Arjun Kapoor’s Cancer to finally get to Preity Zinta’s Aquarius. Which always, always has to do with my work life. In other words, the only thing I don’t have to rely on my horoscope for, or the only thing I have control over in this random, arbitrarily designed universe, of which I am but an inconsequential speck.
Okay, so I’m a selective believer. Meaning I only believe my horoscope when it has nice, encouraging, fairy godmother-like things to say to me. Not when it’s asking my broke ass to steer clear of a bad investment I can’t even make or when I’m criticizing the pseudo scientificity of astrology in Prof. Raja’s Principles of Science class.
Nonetheless, why can’t it just read “Dear Water-Bearers, you will have an awesome hair day today” or “Dear Blue-Lovers, the boy you’ve been pining after for months, like Gatsby pined after Daisy, will ask you out today”? Anyhoo, at the risk of sounding like the Hot Priest from Fleabag, I suppose I watch my horoscope nonetheless because it feels like hope, like the prospect of an awesome hair day. If I only believed…
Horoscopes: Sthitee Mohanty
I don’t like horoscopes. The very idea of celestial bodies holding the reigns of my life does not create joy within me. The stars and the planets might be aligned in a certain manner when a person is born but what exactly does that have to do with one’s love life or stock investments? Though star constellations are beautiful, humans are nowhere near that pretty or eternal. As much as we’d like to believe that we are made of stardust fated for great things, we really aren’t that important in the overall scheme of the universe.
Ironically, horoscopes have always been a huge part of my life. Too many saffron giants have told me that I, born at an auspicious time, shall bring fame to my family. Does this mean that I might be the next Genghis Khan? The next Marie Curie? They do not provide the specifics while muttering at red star charts drawn on yellowing paper. I’ve even had people blow bone ash at my face and dust me vigorously with peacock feathers, to remove the influence of evil Mars on my life. Yes, a planet I can’t even see is responsible for the failures caused by my procrastination.