To all the overwhelmed first years out there— this one’s for you, you got this <3
Dear first-year me,
I know you were overwhelmed the first time you stepped into Ashoka, far away from home. The constant flow of orientations, and the information you were expected to understand and utilize in your time here seemed quite scary, and your social battery was exhausted by the repeated interactions of “Hi, what’s your major?” Eventually, even after finding a great group of friends to spend your time with, I know you were beyond startled by how everyone seemed to manage staying up late and still making it to their classes, and a little worried by how they seemed to fit in perfectly to the ideal ‘college student’ image you’d heard of and known for so long, juggling work and fun times like it was nothing.
College. The ultimate goal you set for yourself in your last years of high school— making lists, giving SAT exams, and planning out their academic career. Highly hyped up by movies & shows, ‘college’ appeared to you as a whole new universe, moving beyond the simple life of school— where you came, studied for 8 hours a day, and then went home to the comfort of your bed and the company of your loved ones. College, in contrast, was where you were supposed to have the ‘perfect’ life by striking a balance between your studies & plans for the future, and spending time hanging out with your peers, forging relationships to last a lifetime. It was at college that you thought you were supposed to ‘find yourself.’
First-year me, I know you were under an insane amount of pressure to be everything to everyone, all at once, and be everywhere you could at all times. This piece is for you to read back as a senior, about to graduate. I want you to come back to this article, and validate all the reassurance and advice you received from your seniors at the time. I want this to be a symbol of hope and comfort, and a proof of your own perseverance— I want you to know that, despite everything, we made it.
I remember how it felt, looking up at your seniors, at the club fairs & cohorts, handling their courses and all these extracurriculars. Wishing you had your assignments and coursework as sorted as they seemed to, you tried to participate in every possible event you could, feeling like you were always rushing and falling short of time, pulling extra hours.
I remember how you worried about missing out on the fun times you were supposed to be having at college anytime you decided to call it a night a little sooner, or spend your evening holed up in the library with your endless assignments. You’d look at all the different social media apps, watching everyone have the best times of their lives, and wonder how they could handle it all so well.
I remember how you felt during all the huge events— festivals, birthdays that you missed back home & the late night nostalgia that hit you on those days. How you’d instantly want to book a flight back home just to fill that emptiness you felt inside, and see your loved ones again.
I know it was daunting, but you also made amazing memories along the way.
Some nights, you stayed up late with your friends in the football field instead of going up to your room to study. You bonded over snacks and deep conversations, fun and laughter. You slept a little less and would be exhausted the next day, with pending assignments, but it was all worth it.
Sometimes, you spent some time in your room, doing chores and getting your work for the week out of the way so you could explore Delhi on the weekend. You had some me-time and cleared off your to-do list, feeling great after doing so.
While you missed birthdays and festivals back home, you had some crazy experiences at college, too. Your celebrations differed from home, but the time you spent dressed up in traditionals taking goofy pictures with all your friends, or cutting your birthday cake in a room they decorated for you, with your favorite songs playing and all your family away from home surrounding you were times well spent.
Maybe balance in college was indeed an illusion, you know. You didn’t have all your moments extensively planned out, or a checklist you could tick items on, but you still had an amazing time. It’s like Deepika Padukone said in Yeh Jawaani hai Deewani— “Jitna bhi try karo, kuch na kuch toh chhutega hi, toh jahan hai wahi ka maza lete hai na.”
You weren’t everywhere all at once, and you did not have what you believed to be the ‘ideal, perfect college student life.’ You had the imperfect college life, where you missed a few assignments, and slept in some days; but in this imperfection you now recount all the memories and see how it was exactly what you needed.
You lived in the moment, you made it to the end— it all worked out and that’s what counts. We made it, and I’m so proud of how far we’ve come. I hope you are, too.