Edited by Ajitesh VishwanathÂ
Of the many surprising questions I have faced as a part of adulting, one is pertinent. Why am I suddenly in a rush? It is as though I have joined a race I did not know existed and I am already behind. I want my childhood dreams delivered to me in 2-3 business days. Talk about instant gratification. I literally seem to be scrolling through life experiences like they are story highlights with upbeat 2000’s bollywood music. I am watching more memories these days than I actually create. Sleep has now become less a necessity and more a reward. As though, if I close my eyes even to blink, the whole world would have catapulted ahead. So I try to act, do literally anything, grasp any opportunity thrown at me because I desperately need to be in the lead. Of what? I do not have the slightest idea, but I want to be in the front nonetheless. I am doom scrolling my life. I should probably pause and at least evaluate the process?Â
Unfortunately, any attempt I actually make to slow down is futile, because then I partake in another race. A game of how soon before I can get up and running? I know the efficiency formula like the back of my hand and have chosen caffeine as my favourite fuel. I will emerge victorious, won’t I? I knew that the key to getting anything done was to keep going. But there was no mention of the speed.Â
Are good things not supposed to take time? If I walk instead of run towards my goals, career or other (which I simply disguise as mine because I saw someone else achieve it and now I want it too), will I get trodden on? Even Google news has started mocking me by suggesting articles about child prodigies that change the world. Children are defying the very concept of time and experience and I seemed to have reached a standstill. I wonder if the people I believe to be the winners of this race also just think they are at a standstill, not the final destination.Â
The truth is, from where I stand, everything surrounding me seems to be in perpetual motion. Like the busy central street of a city. We all set out on different paths and get confused and hassled because of the paths they converge with. Everyone seems to be determined and pacing to their destination because we walk with them for only so much time.We hardly notice the slumps, the obstacles, the mistakes. Even if I am comparing strides,what point is it propeling myself with the fire ignited by jealousy? It will soon run out.Â
Things will fall into place at their own time. It’s like no matter how much I use Google maps to predict my arrival, the actual time will constantly keep changing. But my destination is not going away. None of this implies I should rush. I could even explore a few side roads before I get back. Is that not the point of it all? I wonder how long I can keep competing with this abstract idea of “getting ahead in life.” Perhaps there is no ahead, even if there is, it is only in relation to my previous milestone. I think as long as I keep walking, I will be fine. Maybe I should slow down and smell the flowers.Â