Edited By : Vrinda Rastogi
When it comes to the brain’s wiring, love and addiction share more in common than we might think. You see, when you’re head over heels in love, your brain is on a dopamine-fueled rollercoaster, just like when you’re enjoying a nicotine or cocaine rush. It’s that same “give me more” mentality – you’re in a “goal-oriented motivational state.” So, when you’re in love, you’re not just lovestruck; you’re an addict. It is thus that breakups feel like something similar to withdrawal symptoms from the love drug.
Picture this: In the duration of your relationship, your brain becomes a bustling metropolis of neural circuits all dedicated to your partner. But, when the love train derails, you’re left with all these vacant properties, and each one needs a serious renovation to account for your ex’s absence. In essence, breakups are like trying to rewire a city.
But here’s something, while you can’t make the pain vanish completely, you can give it a run for its money. With the right strategies and a support system, you can reasonably reduce the agony you’re feeling. So, despite the brain science, there’s hope for a less painful path through heartbreak and we’re here to tell you about it!
Here are 7 ways to ensure you’re never heartbroken again:
- Boundaries
Boundaries are important to make sure no one has the ability to hamper your piece of mind. Set strict boundaries and communicate them nicely, if they continue to violate it, you know it’s time to let go. Make sure you respect your boundaries because if you don’t, no one else will. What do boundaries look like? Here are a few examples – “I don’t like being made fun of for my physical attributes.” “Talking about this triggers me, so please don’t.” “I prefer to stay within these limits in terms of our physical relationship.”
- Know Your Worth
Knowing your worth by being secure with yourself and not letting silly things embarrass you is extremely important not just so you learn to respect yourself but also you learn to be picky in terms of who you surround yourself with.When you know your worth you know who’s worth your time and who isn’t and it is then you can start surrounding yourself with people who you genuinely value and who value you. Self validation, positive affirmations and shamelessly doing things you love is key to building a positive self perception.
- Lucky Girl Syndrome
LGS stems from the belief that you are the luckiest girl in the world and everything will work in your favor.You must constantly remind yourself that people around you love and adore you and that everything in your life will turn out for the better for you. I know it sounds a little too much like building false hope but LGS is important for maintaining optimism even in the toughest of situations aka breakups. Start small, maybe positive affirmations each morning or journaling your manifestations each night and slowly your view towards your externalities will change completely, for the better.
- Unconditional Love
This is similar to building a positive self perception but I feel like it needs a separate place just because of how important and overlooked this is. Loving yourself irrespective of whatever your external circumstances might be is so important to maintain a sense of constant security. While you will come across many people who will love you, you must remember that you will always only have you to come home to you and so you need to forgive, respect and love yourself always.
- Be Vulnerable
Expressing emotions authentically and having the ability to be vulnerable in a relationship will not only ensure that you’re heard but will also help you figure out the people who are willing to give in the time and effort to maintain a relationship with you. I know being authentic to your feelings and being genuinely vulnerable is scary, so start small. Start by communicating openly, what you feel, what hurts you and what you want changed and gradually you’ll start being more aware of your true feelings and will start respecting the need to be able to express them authentically.
- Save Yourself for the Right One
There are plenty of people out there who are willing to give you everything you want and more, so stop settling for the bare minimum and save yourself for someone who is going to give you everything you deserve and more. This will not only ensure you get to experience the best kind of relationships but also that you will reduce the chances of being heartbroken constantly by people who didn’t deserve you at all. Stop considering yourself lucky if that person gives you attention and take a step back before you make them your universe because you must respect your standards and let go of people who don’t fit them. The simplest way to do this is by stopping guessing and chasing your delusions. Start expressing your needs and clarify whether they will be fulfilled so that you can set your expectations straight.
- Detachment
This is THE most important element of the entire transformation because while having the ability to separate yourself from the outcome is extremely tough, it is, at the same time, the best way to ensure no one can shake your self perception and self confidence. While it is normal to feel hurt when things don’t turn out your way and it is equally important to process those emotions properly, you must realize that you are not the sum of your outcomes. When you understand that you are so much more than what your circumstances make of you, you will be able to know and respect
your worth and your abilities even in the worst of situations.
So now that we’ve come to the end of this , you are ready to begin your transformation into the person we all know you are. Just remember to be grateful for all relationships that you experience because while it might have ended in bad terms, it gave you experiences and learnings that will help you grow so much as a person. Lastly, know and remember that you only accept the love you think you deserve.