Edited by: Aahana Banerjee
Day 1: Don’t get FOMO
It’s 1 am. You’re dead tired and have to study for a quiz tomorrow. Instead of sleeping, you’re sitting in the RH3 commons with your friend group. The conversation isn’t that interesting, you’re not in the mood to talk and yet, you just can’t leave. What if everyone goes to the football field to watch the sunrise? What if there’s a trauma dumping session at 4 am and suddenly, everyone is extremely close and you’re just… not? Step 1 to losing your friend group is this: don’t get FOMO! Study in the library when you have a quiz the next day even though your friends are partying, sleep early because you’re exhausted even though everyone is bonding, and sit alone in your room watching Netflix when your social battery is drained.
Day 2: Have a unique personality instead of merging into one large personality
One of the most important features of a large friend group is the mandatory merging of all personalities into one. Individual preferences such as shower timings, social interactions, political opinions, and clothing choices are now dictated by the group so everyone follows the exact same schedule. Unique personalities are strictly prohibited and hive personalities are the new buzz. In this situation, the best thing for you to do is leave the hive and have the nerve to be your own person.
Day 3: Try to make new friends outside the group
Interacting with members who have not been inducted is strictly prohibited. It is crucial that the exclusivity of the group should not be breached. Everyone in the group, except for the inner circle of course, must always feel like they are looking in from the outside – the constant Dan Humphreys to their Serena, Blair, Nate, and Chuck. The aura of exclusivity and mystery is the backbone of the group, and moving away from the constant drama and power struggles in search of meaningful relationships is exactly what you need in order to be pushed away.
Day 4: Actually go to your classes
Staying up all night every night till each member of the friend group is asleep + making sure you’re a part of everything going on to not get FOMO = skipping classes. Be it catching up on sleep or catching up on the new group drama, going to classes would mean compromising on any one of these, and, as a result, your group contract would be breached and there would be no other option but to have you disbarred from the group.
Day 5: Give constructive feedback
The point of a friend group is simple; have a group of followers who, no matter what, will support you. Right or wrong, they’ll always lie to your face and tell you that you’re right because, at the end of the day, no one wants to hear about how they’re wrong. The friend group satisfies this urge to always be validated and never truly live in reality. When you are finally ready to make your exit, start having differing opinions and be honest with people.
Day 6: Have different dietary preferences
Meals together are the cornerstone of a friend group as it’s where all the daily updates, bitching about friends, and of course, judging every person who walks by the table in the mess takes place – and especially those who are sitting alone at a table. Go ahead and eat alone, and soon enough, you will end up becoming the very thing they have spent hours jesting about.
Day 7: Choose to get more than 4 hours of sleep a night
Here’s the thing: every single night, there will be someone or the other sleeping at 5 am. How do you choose which nights to stay up and which to sleep on? Simple answer: you don’t! Stay up every night, just in case something interesting happens. That is if you decide to stay in the group.
Day 8: Be unproblematic
Because really, what’s the fun if you aren’t plotting how to break up a relationship or creating a sub-group chat to induce problems (things should never get too boring, you know)? This is where the real fun of being in a friend group comes from. Be unproblematic in a world full of drama.
Day 9: Care for your life
Refuse to partake in life-threatening activities, no matter how fun they might look. Certain people in the group will make the ‘you only live once’ attitude so tempting with their spontaneous trips and thrilling rule breaks. The YOLO attitude is important to the college experience but just consider if your survival holds equal value.
Day 10: Take down the shrine in your room
All those extremely precious bonds that you’ve fostered through your friend group – the only way to prove how much they mean to you is to have a shrine in the form of pictures of them in your room. It’s the only mark that the friendships exist – take down those fun pictures encompassing all your group memories of skipping classes and meals together, and you might as well have never known them.
You wanted to lose a friend group in ten days, congratulations, you did it. You just lost them!