Edited By: Vrinda Rastogi
*This is purely for fun and has no actual factual basis. Read at your own discretion*
Emotional constipation (ɪˈməʊʃn̩əl kɒnstɪˈpeɪʃ(ə)n// ImOHshUHnl con-stih-pay-shun) is a state of being in which a person is unable to appropriately convey their mental condition. It can almost be described as one’s emotions being *stuck* without any release. However, this is not to be confused with the inability to express emotions altogether. This group of individuals may be able to show emotive states and chime in when listening to others talk about their own inner thoughts, but still not be able to express their own. Though, it is possible that such individuals run away from any sentimental exhibition entirely to avoid confrontation with their own abyss of darkness. This denial of a person’s well-being can be a key characteristic of emotional constipation. As a result, People may come off as cold and distant. On the other hand, they may utilize humor to deflect this discomfort. Similar to actually being constipated, their emotions may be stuck with some infrequent and difficult outbursts, sometimes at inappropriate times.
For example,
S wanted to laugh at her sub-par test results she spent hours and hours studying and was completely heartbroken by.
“omg I love you”
*incomprehensible croaking noises with the appearance of a strained face*
Symptoms
This unwillingness to release pent-up stress may manifest in different ways in everyday life and conversation. This may include but is not limited to:
- Expressing ‘build-up’ of emotions in the form of dark humor
- Stone cold face during Disney movies
- Having a ‘hard’ time showcasing sentimentality
- Late ‘haha’ response in real life
- Random emotional diarrhea bursts
- Looks of distress at random conversations remotely referencing feelings
- General anal personality
An individual may also notice unusual contraction of sphincter muscles in the presence of an emotionally stable person or at the onset of healthy display of sentiments.
Disclaimer: general awkwardness should not be confused with emotional constipation. Although the two may not be mutually exclusive and have overlaps, overall shyness should not automatically be understood as disagreeable emotional bowel movements.
Treatment
Treatment options may include a more ‘fluid’ outlook towards life. ‘Releasing’ frustrations may be another route towards removing unwanted excrement i.e bottled feelings, from your body.
Origins
Research provides no clear explanation regarding the cause of emotional constipation. However, some evidence shows a correlation between emotionally constipated individuals and surroundings devoid of emotional outlet growing up. Feelings substituted by fruit/food offerings in a household and little to no verbal affirmation of affection are some examples of environments with little emotional accessibility.
References
Emotional Ordure, 2021. Journal of Waste Phrenology.
Not anecdotal at all, Monsoon 2022. Personal Journal of Ashokan
Random Mess Conversations, 2022. Ashonks
Anonymous Gamer, 2022. Twitter Thread.