Ms Readings: Hey, Abhyanshi! Long time no see! Where have you been all this while?
Me: [irritatedly] Yeah, hi! I’ve been on a break.
Ms. Readings: [sarcastically] Don’t you think you need to start something before taking a break from it?
Me: [offended] As if I have nothing else to do but to keep analyzing you all the time. “Readings! Readings! Readings!”, that’s what we Ashokans talk about from morning to night. I don’t really find you that attractive.
Ms. Readings: [teasingly] I am glad that you acknowledge my power over other things here at Ashoka…I wouldn’t mind you calling me a Queen.
Me: [staring at her] Whatever.
Ms. Readings: So Abhyanshi, what do you think of me?
Me: [realising that I’ve got my chance] I feel that as soon as I start taking you seriously, trying to analyze your depths, my jumpy mind makes me wonder, “Ehh, look at Ms. Readings’ nose. Isn’t it rather tilted? Is that why she bends her face all the time, so maybe she could breathe straight?”
Ms. Readings: Well, I don’t really need to tilt my head for that purpose, but I get you. You zone out, right?
Me: Yes, I do.
Ms. Readings: Well, I can help you go about analyzing me. I can hide my nose if that helps…
Me: Sure. You may.
Ms. Readings: First, never expect me to return your warm regards if you send them an hour before the class; basically, read me atleast a day before your lectures. My nose shall appear straight then. Second, I know you try to analyze me well, but I don’t admire the fact that you seal your lips before the class. Talk about me to the class; discuss my nose, eyes, tongue, ears, whatever you want. Even if you don’t like the lip colour I put on, I encourage you to express that dislike. Getting my point?
Me: I do get it. But you should really switch over to lighter shades in lip colour. They would suit you more. Basically, be simpler.
Ms. Readings: [raising her eyebrows] Trends, dear! It’s all a game of flashy trends. But of course, you can imagine me in that shade if that comforts you more. Anyway, let’s move on.
Third, if my attire doesn’t please you, design one for me. Decorate it as you feel like: prepare a roadmap by breaking down what you read into coherent parts and refer back when needed. Fourth, make it a point that once you are done with me, you have three areas to think about: theme, audience, and the relatability. Are you listening?
Me: Yes!
Ms. Readings: Perfect! Next I would want you to relate the incidents in the readings to the ones you see around you in real life. Another thing you should do: If ever you get over my nose, notice what it was that distracted you in the first place. Then use such engaging elements in your assignments. And lastly, if at any point you feel like I am making no sense, saying loads, just put me aside and look at the bustling campus around.
Me: Those tips seem to be wise ones. But what did you just say? Look at the bustling campus around? You seem funny. Do you really think you will stop following me around the campus if I choose to put you away?
You show up everywhere! But I hope to get over your nose and preferences in shades, with the tips you just gave. Thank you for your time. I hope to see you soon.
Ms. Readings: Hope?
Me: Okay, okay! See you soon!
Ms. Readings: Well that seems promising. Hope you get to know the mysteries behind my tilted nose. Happy reading!
Me: Sure. Hope to understand you better. Goodbye!
Ms. Readings: Goodbye!
Edited by Vidushi Rijuta (UG 2019)